Constructive criticism ...

I always consider the source. If it is from someone whose opinion I respect, I will definitely consider the information. I may or may not actually use it to change how I am doing something, that is my choice, but I will consider it.

I also think constructive criticism is not just saying something is wrong or that there is a better way; that is just plain old criticism. In order for it to be constructive, it also should explain how the person is doing it is wrong, inefficient, counterproductive, etc. and also why the proposed alternative is right, better, more efficient, etc. Constructive criticism just isn't constructive if it isn't also instructive. Support the criticism with documented facts and it is far easier to accept. Then again, I may be too scientifically minded.
 
Offering constructive criticism without being asked in an intrusion, make certain an invitation to offer it up was given.
I've watched a couple friends get bent over suggestions given by people who had no business interfering. Comical, but tense at the same time. Of coarse I laughed.
 
Offering constructive criticism without being asked in an intrusion, make certain an invitation to offer it up was given.
I've watched a couple friends get bent over suggestions given by people who had no business interfering. Comical, but tense at the same time. Of coarse I laughed.
"Unsolicited advice is not welcome" is something that has was told to me after giving unsolicited advice. It has stuck with me since and has served well.
 
"Constructive criticism" is, by nature, helpful or constructive. It should always be received with a welcome attitude. Even if the source is questionable, a wise man can recognize someone who is trying to be helpful. I have bit my tongue in many situations where there was no value in asserting myself. No one likes to tell another person something and receive a, "Yah, I already knew that!" as a response. I've listened to bad advice, knowing it was bad, and said thanks afterwards. There is really no use in correcting some people. "Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you, Reprove a wise man and he will love you."(Proverbs 9:8)

The way I can receive criticism, constructive or not, and be gracious is by knowing who I am. I have no doubt whatsoever in my own identity. This is a powerful mindset to hold. There is literally nothing a person can say to me that will hurt my self esteem or self worth. The problem with people being unable to accept criticism is they don't know who they are, and when someone says something that makes them feel dumb or inadequate or diminished in some way, they feel the need to defend their own fragile ego. They have to be defensive because if they don't publicly prove that the other person was wrong about them they will be forced to believe what that person said. In fact, it is probably a belief that they hold about themselves, deep down, and try to hide from everyone. If they accept the criticism it means that they have believed the sad truth they they were running from. On the flip side, if you are confident in who you are, you see criticism for what it is or what it can be, an opportunity to learn or grow.
 
"Constructive criticism" is, by nature, helpful or constructive. It should always be received with a welcome attitude. Even if the source is questionable, a wise man can recognize someone who is trying to be helpful. I have bit my tongue in many situations where there was no value in asserting myself. No one likes to tell another person something and receive a, "Yah, I already knew that!" as a response. I've listened to bad advice, knowing it was bad, and said thanks afterwards. There is really no use in correcting some people. "Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you, Reprove a wise man and he will love you."(Proverbs 9:8)

The way I can receive criticism, constructive or not, and be gracious is by knowing who I am. I have no doubt whatsoever in my own identity. This is a powerful mindset to hold. There is literally nothing a person can say to me that will hurt my self esteem or self worth. The problem with people being unable to accept criticism is they don't know who they are, and when someone says something that makes them feel dumb or inadequate or diminished in some way, they feel the need to defend their own fragile ego. They have to be defensive because if they don't publicly prove that the other person was wrong about them they will be forced to believe what that person said. In fact, it is probably a belief that they hold about themselves, deep down, and try to hide from everyone. If they accept the criticism it means that they have believed the sad truth they they were running from. On the flip side, if you are confident in who you are, you see criticism for what it is or what it can be, an opportunity to learn or grow.

View attachment 159295 Cheers for getting us to look inward and recognize both our tendencies and our opportunities to improve.

Well said Sirs!
 
milo-2,

In both your last two posts you told your read what they should do. That sounds like a school teacher. The other posters merely talked generally.

Timnterra,

Fantastic post. Many years ago there was a book "I'm okay. You're okay." My brother and I read it. He asked, "If you're okay and I'm okay, what's wrong with me?" I responded, "You're not okay yet."

I taught my kids if someone says something to you good or bad and you don't respect them it is like the wind in the trees. There's a sound, but nothing is being said.
 
milo-2,

In both your last two posts you told your read what they should do. That sounds like a school teacher. The other posters merely talked generally.

Timnterra,

Fantastic post. Many years ago there was a book "I'm okay. You're okay." My brother and I read it. He asked, "If you're okay and I'm okay, what's wrong with me?" I responded, "You're not okay yet."

I taught my kids if someone says something to you good or bad and you don't respect them it is like the wind in the trees. There's a sound, but nothing is being said.
 
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