thought this was funny also

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Vern Harrison, Oct 16, 2003.

  1. Vern Harrison

    Vern Harrison Well-Known Member

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    This farmer had three bulls, big one, medium one and the little one. Farmer tells the bulls one morning " boys I have bought a new bull he will be here today".

    Big bull looks around and says"I aint got but 500 cows, I aint sharing any!

    Medium bull looks around and says " I aint got but 250 cows I aint sharing either!

    Little bull says "hell I aint got but 5 cows I can't afford to share.

    Well that afternoon, a big 18 wheeler rolls up, tailgate drops and out comes a Monster Bull!

    Big bull says" well I guess I can share 250!

    Medium bull says " i can share 125!

    The little bull starting yelling, snorting and throwing dirt all over his back!

    Big bull looks around and says " dang little bull you aint going to fight that big SOB are you???

    Little bull says " Hell no I just want him to know I'm a bull!!!!

    More bull to come, Vern
     
  2. Darryl Cassel

    Darryl Cassel Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    That was good Vern.

    Later
    DC
     
  3. MAX

    MAX Well-Known Member

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    Indeed! [​IMG]

    Q: What do you do to an elephant with 3 balls?

    A: Walk him and pitch the hippo.
     
  4. baldeagle713

    baldeagle713 Well-Known Member

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    sounds like the small bull was the smartest of the bunch!@ [​IMG]
     
  5. Darryl Cassel

    Darryl Cassel Well-Known Member

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    Here's a good hunting story.

    "A couple of rednecks"

    A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.
    The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead! What should I do?"
    The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions.
    First, let's make sure he's dead."
    There is a silence, and then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line, -----"Okay, now what?"
     
  6. Vern Harrison

    Vern Harrison Well-Known Member

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    Two guys from VA go hunting with a friend from PA near his home in PA.

    Next morning their up in the mountains and they walk up on a sheep hung up in the fence.

    First guy from VA says "I wish that was Brittny Spears!

    Second guy from VA says " I wish that was Janet Lopez!

    The from PA says " I wish it was dark!!

    hehe, Vern
     
  7. Darryl Cassel

    Darryl Cassel Well-Known Member

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    Vern

    That was a good one.

    Was that Boyd or Jody "you" and Bubba Steve were hunting with in PA????

    We don't have any sheep up here in these mountains. They do down by Lock Haven, PA though.

    Later
    DC [​IMG]

    [ 10-17-2003: Message edited by: Darryl Cassel ]
     
  8. Vern Harrison

    Vern Harrison Well-Known Member

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    DC, Hush I think Boyds mad at me already.

    I wasn't going to call names but...... [​IMG]

    Vern

    I tell y'all some more when I get back from Hawks Ridge, sat nite.
     
  9. BountyHunter

    BountyHunter Writers Guild

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    To all Univ. GA fans,

    UGA is the male white english bulldog mascot of Univ GA. At the annual televised Auborn and GA game, UGA was brought out to the 50 yard line.

    He sat down and immediately started doing what dogs do and licking himself and rather enjoying it by the looks of things.

    Two ole boys named Leroy and Bubba were sitting in the stands watching this.

    Bubba said "Damn, Wish I could do that!"

    Leroy replied, "That dawg would bite you!"
     
  10. Vern Harrison

    Vern Harrison Well-Known Member

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    BH,
    Do you know why the Army had a mule as a mascot?

    Vern
     
  11. Vern Harrison

    Vern Harrison Well-Known Member

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    Well, because the Navy already had the Marines!

    Knowing BH was an old Army brother thought he might like that one but I guess he's out of town.

    Later, Vern
     
  12. Vern Harrison

    Vern Harrison Well-Known Member

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    One day a young ground hog hunter was looking for new farms to hunt. He came across a big nice farm and decided to stop in.

    He just happened to see the old farmer standing on a tall hilltop overlooking his house. He got out of his Dodge truck and asked the old farmer if he could do alittle ground hog hunting.

    The old farmer ask him "are you a good shot son" and the young man replied "well I aint no Darryl, but I'm fair.

    The old farmer asked if the young man would like to make a $1000. The young man said sure what do I have to do.

    The old farmer said I beleive my wife and the farmer next door are having an affair.

    I would like you to sit right here and see if he sneaks over to my house. If he does, I want you to shoot his "pecker off". Then shoot my wife right between the eyes.

    The yound man said no problem here's two bullets you just hand them to me and say the word and it's over.

    A few minutes later they watched as the farmer next door slipped into the farmers house. The old farmer asked" are they together"? "Yes sir" said the young guy.

    The old farmer said "then here's your two bullets, shoot his pecker off and shoot her between the eye's".

    The young man said "well sir, if I shoot now want need but one" [​IMG]

    Nite all, Vern
     
  13. Kevin

    Kevin Well-Known Member

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    Man was on a guided bird hunt, guide tells the client that when his dog is on point he wags his tail back and forth once for every bird he sees.

    Soon after the dog goes on point, wags his tail twice and humps the ground a couple times.

    client asks, what does that mean?

    Guide says, It means there's too fuck'n many to count.

    [ 10-22-2003: Message edited by: MTBA ]