Recent content by Southpaw

As a guitarist, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost. I finally...

According to a news report, a certain private school in Newcastle upon Tyne was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their...

A man brings his best buddy back home for dinner. His wife screams at him, "My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas & I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! What the f*** did you bring him home for?" "Cause he's thinking of...

Congratulations again Team Defensive Edge. 1st Ken Way Shooter Bill Tincup Caller 2nd Bill Tincup Shooter Brad Davis Caller 3rd Brad Davis Shooter Bill Tincup Caller Thanks Shawn, for the great instruction and the First Class Rifles you build Hopefully...

And they think Guns are a problem LOL The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing "father's details;" or putting it another way...Who's yo Daddy? 1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was...

- Never argue with an idiot, he'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. - Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. - The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on the list. - If I agreed with you...

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director: "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?" "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, and then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty...

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons, nor prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slide from the saddle. In terror...

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first...

World's Shortest Books THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE by Barack Obama ____________________________________________ MY BLACK GIRLFRIENDS by Tiger Woods ____________________________________________ THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY by Jane Fonda & Cindy...

Alabama A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke o' some kind. He's a couple of miles back up...

PARAPROSDOKIAN A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing...

Shawn You have made me so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Having handled that gun (unfortunately he wouldn't let me shoot it) I know how great it is. There is one of these in my future. I should have some money to send you soon. Southpaw P.S. Thanks for the great LR...

His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport. Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with...

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere. Buttocks clenched, Billy Bob performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first to the right, he straps his...