Off topic but how do u deal with teenage daughters!

[Rhino Hunter]

I have one brother and no sisters so I wasn't raised around females. Now I have two boys, well...young men (23 & 21) and no daughters. So I don't know anything about females...just ask my wife. LOL.

One thing I have learned is when I lose my temper with my boys/wife, and then I scream and yell that all of their ears seem to just shut down. So I'm slowing learning (still) to do my best to list and not tell them what to do, unless of course it's a safety issue. I try to talk to them more from a equal perspective and not talk down to them. As they grow up, and me too, our relationships are getting stronger. The younger one still gives me fits though on occasion...Rebel without a cause maybe?

You're probably already doing this, but I would suggest the following:

• Listen more than you talk, talk more than you yell
• Always be there for her
  
• No matter what always show that you love her
• Be very, very patient
• You can only change yourself

Good luck Dad!

 

[Timnterra]

I'm sending you a PM with a recommendation.

 

[Caveman0101]

You guys should really try some counseling. This confrontational almost daring her to move out thing is not going to turn out well and is actually how kids end up in really bad situations.

 

[ducky]

You guys should really try some counseling. This confrontational almost daring her to move out thing is not going to turn out well and is actually how kids end up in really bad situations.

Counseling only works if his daughter doesn't shut down. Family counseling didn't work for us at first, things had get really bad before my daughter got scared enough to realize she needed help. Even then it took intensive one on one counseling with a therapist for my daughter to ever get her back into a family counselor with my wife and I.

It took having my hystericsl daughter committed by an ER Dr the day we slapped a restraining order on the boy for my daughter to participate. She had no choice then, she wasn't getting out of the juvenile mental health ward without it. She was stubborn at first, and it took almost two weeks for her to come home. I think she would have been trying to get back to that boy if he hadn't posted on his FB he was in a relationship and was kissing on one of my daughter's friends from 4H.

Believe me I wanted to handle things old school and while he wound up dropping out of HS while dating my daughter, he was pretty social media savvy. I mean I dreamed of a one way spelunking trip for him down one of CO's many abandoned vertical mine shafts. When things were going south quickly he made sure he was never alone and had someone recording us when he would confront us, or he'd just appear at public places we were at. I tried having a talk with his mother but she had the cellphone up recording as well, saying her son hadn't done anything wrong and that we couldn't stop him from seeing our daughter. So I always wound up walking away and looking weak when the videos were posted, but I stayed out of jail and kept my job. If I had done what I wanted to do, I'd not have done either of those.

My advice is, you can't help your kids if you do stupid stuff as well. However, sometimes you just have to watch the wreck happen. Just make sure you're there to stop them from seriously hurting themselves and to pick up the pieces and help them. This is just like a drug or alcohol addiction with thes young kids, you can see the problem, tell them they have a problem, but until they admit they're in trouble and have a problem nothing you can do will help.

Things can and do get better once everyone can change and get help. My daughter is doing everything she did before 4H/FFA, knowledge bowl, baket ball, and track, but she has a job, is class president, is the 2020 tri-county rodeo and fair Queen, and she just bought he first car (88 Jeep Wrangler) 100% with money she earned. Tomorrow we leave for her ML bull elk hunt. She still likes boys, but the one she likes now just finished up Marine Corps boot camp, and she's trying to get accepted into either the Coast Guard or Naval Academy after graduation in 2021.

 

[CaptnC]

I didn't read pages two and three...

IMO - If your asking this question, your a ready too late to fix the problem! But not all is lost if you try to stay as close as you can!

My oldest is 39 and my wife's daughter will be 21 this January. When my daughter was growing up I was strict with her and she knew I meant what I said! If I said I would warm up her seat! She knew I would. But that was at a time when parents didn't fear their children. I also lead by example...no smoking or drinking! I was very active in her school activities too. She was on the drill team and I made every event! Did the same with my younger daughter too!

My wife's daughter is closer to what your daughter is. I've only been in the picture for 9 years, but I supported my wife's strict rules. My wife was born in Colombia so her values are closer to what mine are.

My wife rode the hard line with her since she was little, so nothing is new to her now. At 20yo, if she is to be home by 11pm she's home on time. She raised her 23yo son the same way. I thought he would never leave the house but he has a steady girlfriend that he lives with...getting ready to buy a new home.

They both call their mom constantly just to say "Hi" so tough love and a strick up bringing still works.

My philosophy when training dogs pretty much hold true to raising children! You just have to be consistent. If you've dropped the reins and let them have their head, your going to have to ride it out and hope for the best!

Just make sure your "there" for them when they need you!

 

[crystalgayleguy]

their women one minute talky talky next minute not a word but remember they have t he thing more powerful than anything

 

[Goring2358]

Its funny seeing this thread because I am watching the Tv and I am watching about Brooke Farthing...A girl that has been missing for years. she is still missing and nowhere to be found. It hard to handle girls.

 

[762x51]

ugh, got a little girl on the way, due in january. not looking forward to the teenage years.

 

[lancetkenyon]

Best way....she is 17 too....


To be perfectly honest, I have two daughters. 28 and 17. My older daughter is a carbon copy of my wife. Who can be short fused, hot headed, stubborn, and.....yeah. She and I got along fine 90% of the time. Were inseparable until she discovered boys about 16. But she and my wife......not so much. Which made it difficult at times.....like most waking moments once she hit her teens....until she moved out at 20. Drove my wife crazy.

My younger daughter is exactly like me. Which drives my wife crazy too! Sarcastic, funny, easy going, smart. Did I just toot my own horn too much? We joke around so much, and have a even closer relationship than my older daughter and I did.

Treat them like a Dad. Not a friend. But be friendly when they need it. Be stern when they need it. Listen to them. Protect them. Take their opinions into consideration. Love them. Support them. Scare the **** out of any boys that come around....and let them BOTH know you would go to prison to protect your daughter. My 6'1" 200# 31 year old son-in-law is still terrified of me (5'7" 155#).....and he should be. My younger daughter's boyfriend (6'5" 180#) is too....and he should be too.

 

[Predator 22]

I don't have any girls (Thank God) but my sister went through something very similar to your situation with her daughter. She found a guy that was totally worthless and she knew it but stayed with him just to show her mom she was capable of being a adult and making what she thought was adult decisions. Before things got to the point of them hating each other, my sister took her down and had one of the under the skin type of birth control put in her arm and told her good luck. It took my niece all of about four months to figure out how worthless her boyfriend was and returned home with a lot more respect for her mom.
Hope things get better with your daughter but I would recommend getting her on the same type of birth control that's hard to get rid of. You don't want to have to deal with her boyfriend becoming her baby-daddy. Good luck brother, your going to need it!

 

[KyCarl]

5 years in the US Navy did wonders for my daughter!
Lots of school in Pensacola Florida and ended up an Air Traffic Controller
on the Nimitz..After a Drill Instructor who could care less..Mom and Dad and their rules
are pretty easy going! Here's her winning the N.American Championship..

 

[Goring2358]

Raise a girl with toughness and loves, she might hate you for most part but there's nothing you can do about that. Girls are hard. A friends' daughter, hot blonde girl was set to life but went with the wrong crowd and now she is doing porn. This is a nightmare for fathers. the whole feminist thing has successfully brainwash young ladies to the point of no shame.

 

[Pulpwood]

Not sure what all is going on with you and your daughter . I only had a brother then I had two daughters myself . I learned very early little girls are geared different . I coached both my girls in softball for years which taught me a lot . I always spent a lot of time with them growing up . I would recommend a book to you " strong fathers ,strong daughters . As others have stated a lot of patience is required . Ladies are just wired different than us guys than doesn't mean bad just different. I know my two daughters are 29 and 22 and they are different from each other also . I feel I didn't do to bad of a job the oldest is a pharmacist and the youngest is in pharmacy school now . Good luck

 

[Pulpwood]

The book I recommend is by dr Meg meeker