Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
Articles
Latest reviews
Author list
Classifieds
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles and first posts only
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Chatting and General Stuff
Humor
Librals migrating to Canada
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="gillettehunter" data-source="post: 1184218" data-attributes="member: 25760"><p>> </p><p>> The </p><p>> flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada as </p><p>> intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop </p><p>> the illegal immigration. The Republican Presidential primary campaign is </p><p>> prompting an exodus among left leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be </p><p>> required to hunt, pray, and live according to conservative ideas about the </p><p>> Constitution.</p><p>> </p><p>> Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to </p><p>> see dozens of </p><p>> sociology professors, global warming activists, </p><p>> and "green" energy proponents crossing their fields at night. </p><p>> </p><p>> "I went </p><p>> out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer </p><p>> huddled in the barn," said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose </p><p>> acreage borders North Dakota . "The producer was cold, exhausted and </p><p>> hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. </p><p>> When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show </p><p>> him my screenplay, eh?" </p><p>> </p><p>> In an </p><p>> effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but </p><p>> the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush </p><p>> Limbaugh across the fields, but they just keep coming. </p><p>> </p><p>> Officials are particularly concerned about </p><p>> smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into </p><p>> electric cars and drive them across the border where they are simply left </p><p>> to fend for themselves after the battery dies.</p><p>> </p><p>> "A lot </p><p>> of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario </p><p>> border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of </p><p>> Perrier drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, </p><p>> though, and some kale chips." </p><p>> </p><p>> When </p><p>> liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing </p><p>> loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been </p><p>> circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where </p><p>> liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and study the </p><p>> Constitution. </p><p>> </p><p>> In </p><p>> recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the </p><p>> border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to </p><p>> buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half- dozen young </p><p>> vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began </p><p>> stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como </p><p>> and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they </p><p>> can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become </p><p>> very suspicious about their age," an official said. </p><p>> </p><p>> Canadian citizens have complained that the </p><p>> illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, buying up </p><p>> all the Barbara Streisand c.d.'s, and renting all the Michael Moore </p><p>> movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian </p><p>> economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many </p><p>> art-history majors does one country need?"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gillettehunter, post: 1184218, member: 25760"] > > The > flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada as > intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop > the illegal immigration. The Republican Presidential primary campaign is > prompting an exodus among left leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be > required to hunt, pray, and live according to conservative ideas about the > Constitution. > > Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to > see dozens of > sociology professors, global warming activists, > and "green" energy proponents crossing their fields at night. > > "I went > out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer > huddled in the barn," said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose > acreage borders North Dakota . “The producer was cold, exhausted and > hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. > When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show > him my screenplay, eh?" > > In an > effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but > the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush > Limbaugh across the fields, but they just keep coming. > > Officials are particularly concerned about > smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into > electric cars and drive them across the border where they are simply left > to fend for themselves after the battery dies. > > "A lot > of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario > border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of > Perrier drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, > though, and some kale chips." > > When > liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing > loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been > circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where > liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and study the > Constitution. > > In > recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the > border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to > buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half- dozen young > vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began > stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como > and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they > can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become > very suspicious about their age," an official said. > > Canadian citizens have complained that the > illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, buying up > all the Barbara Streisand c.d.'s, and renting all the Michael Moore > movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian > economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many > art-history majors does one country need?" [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Chatting and General Stuff
Humor
Librals migrating to Canada
Top