Dumbest things you have heard #2
- Thread starter nelson
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Dumbest and Funniest
1991 as the first Gulf war was going on, some young enterprising young (think he was an E3 in a leg unit) soldier went home and gave an interesting interview to his local newspaper where he stated he was an E7 in Special Forces in Iraq and had been issued the "GLOVE".
Now this glove was special for sure. It had GPS, night vision, secure radio, built in pistol and all sorts of other goodies built into it such as even an altimeter for HALO jumps etc.
The local newspaper article about their hero and the GLOVE got sent to the Commanding General at JFK Center at Fort Bragg where we trained all SF.
Needless to say it stirred up quite an interest and a lot of laughs. Pretty sure the CG contacted his Commander and got the story straight.
The running joke for months was to walk down the halls and hold one hand in the air signifying the GLOVE, even the CG was seen to do it once or twice for laughs. Plus all of us kept asking our supply sgts for our GLOVE and someone even went to our Combat Development Division to ask them to formally develop and field the GLOVE.
Never let it be said that a local hero is not inventive to say the least.
BH
1991 as the first Gulf war was going on, some young enterprising young (think he was an E3 in a leg unit) soldier went home and gave an interesting interview to his local newspaper where he stated he was an E7 in Special Forces in Iraq and had been issued the "GLOVE".
Now this glove was special for sure. It had GPS, night vision, secure radio, built in pistol and all sorts of other goodies built into it such as even an altimeter for HALO jumps etc.
The local newspaper article about their hero and the GLOVE got sent to the Commanding General at JFK Center at Fort Bragg where we trained all SF.
Needless to say it stirred up quite an interest and a lot of laughs. Pretty sure the CG contacted his Commander and got the story straight.
The running joke for months was to walk down the halls and hold one hand in the air signifying the GLOVE, even the CG was seen to do it once or twice for laughs. Plus all of us kept asking our supply sgts for our GLOVE and someone even went to our Combat Development Division to ask them to formally develop and field the GLOVE.
Never let it be said that a local hero is not inventive to say the least.
BH
Shawn Carlock
Sponsor
It never fails to amaze me how many insecure people there out there that have to pretend to be someone or something else to feel good about themselves.
Timberbeast7
Well-Known Member
Wow Shawn, I didn't know you were a Marine sniper too...I never saw that plaque on your wall. Have to start calling you Shawn 'Carlos' Carlock!
Tyler Kemp
Well-Known Member
"30-30 is a heck of a deer cartridge!"
"That huge 45-70 is ****ing stupid!"
"That huge 45-120 is the stupidest ****ing that I've ever seen Tyler, and I thought that 45-70 thing was dumb!"
"There ain't no way you shot that deer at 640 yards, that 6mm bullet won't even go that far because I shot my 243 that far one time and it was hitting way in front of the target!"
"Check out this new scope, it's called a BSA and I think you can see in the dark with it, because everything has a green tinge!"
Yes, I do hunt in southren' Missourah
"That huge 45-70 is ****ing stupid!"
"That huge 45-120 is the stupidest ****ing that I've ever seen Tyler, and I thought that 45-70 thing was dumb!"
"There ain't no way you shot that deer at 640 yards, that 6mm bullet won't even go that far because I shot my 243 that far one time and it was hitting way in front of the target!"
"Check out this new scope, it's called a BSA and I think you can see in the dark with it, because everything has a green tinge!"
Yes, I do hunt in southren' Missourah
zuba
Well-Known Member
pistols can't shoot that far...
When I lived in Orofino Idaho in the late 80's two California hunters rolled into town and hit every bar to show off what they were sure was a new "Record Elk".
Turned out to be a dead moose with an Elk tag on it. At one point during the show one of them asked "How long does a deer have to live before it becomes an elk?"
Not one local explained the situation to them. A game warden met them at Whipples Feed [game processor] and gave them an education.
A fishing guide friend of mine in upstate New York [Lake Ontario] had a client ask him how long it took a salmon to swim from Alaska to New York.
Turned out to be a dead moose with an Elk tag on it. At one point during the show one of them asked "How long does a deer have to live before it becomes an elk?"
Not one local explained the situation to them. A game warden met them at Whipples Feed [game processor] and gave them an education.
A fishing guide friend of mine in upstate New York [Lake Ontario] had a client ask him how long it took a salmon to swim from Alaska to New York.
I had a fella tell me last night:
I can split golf balls all day long at 1000yds with my AR-10 (doubtful)
We shot 29 coyotes yesterday (he was from CO but I still figure that's a pretty tall order for 2 guys in one day hunting together)
he was a nice guy. I think he may be a little disconnected though!
I can split golf balls all day long at 1000yds with my AR-10 (doubtful)
We shot 29 coyotes yesterday (he was from CO but I still figure that's a pretty tall order for 2 guys in one day hunting together)
he was a nice guy. I think he may be a little disconnected though!
blipelt
Well-Known Member
"Yeah I voted for Obama!"
Brent
Brent
Maybe he meant he can split "a golf ball" at 1000 yds, but it takes him all day long!
-X3M
pressman
Well-Known Member
i was hunting whitetail deer down in a county know for deer all i saw was running deer as in for their life so me and my friend decided to go down and check out the check in station because the area we were hunting sounded like we were in some major war. As a matter of fact it was so bad i headed to the truck just to find my buddy already their for the same reason.
So off we go just a few miles. Their low and behold was this very proud Ohio man dragging everyone to his truck. As i approached the truck to my find was a Billy Goat with about 6" horns. it was field dressed and tagged. He was so proud, he said he stalked it for an hour. As the clerk at the shop went out to put on the steel tag he turned to the man and told him that was a very special deer and it required a special tag and he would probably receive a prize that the game and fish would present him. The clerk gave the man the number and he called and told him that he needed the game and fish to come down and check out his nice deer. WELL in about 30 minutes sure enough the game and fish showed up. When they saw the goat they asked the man where he got this fine animal. of course he told him. So the game and fish called the property owner for him to come down to the check in station. After another 30 minutes the land owner arrive. The proud Hunter received a bill for the goat and a fine for something else i don't remember. Plus the land owner took the goat.
it was a pretty funny day everyone stood around to see what was going to happen next.
So off we go just a few miles. Their low and behold was this very proud Ohio man dragging everyone to his truck. As i approached the truck to my find was a Billy Goat with about 6" horns. it was field dressed and tagged. He was so proud, he said he stalked it for an hour. As the clerk at the shop went out to put on the steel tag he turned to the man and told him that was a very special deer and it required a special tag and he would probably receive a prize that the game and fish would present him. The clerk gave the man the number and he called and told him that he needed the game and fish to come down and check out his nice deer. WELL in about 30 minutes sure enough the game and fish showed up. When they saw the goat they asked the man where he got this fine animal. of course he told him. So the game and fish called the property owner for him to come down to the check in station. After another 30 minutes the land owner arrive. The proud Hunter received a bill for the goat and a fine for something else i don't remember. Plus the land owner took the goat.
it was a pretty funny day everyone stood around to see what was going to happen next.
john_m44
Well-Known Member
I've got a "buddy" that bought a Remington vssf in 220 swift that came with a
Simmons whitetail classic 6-20x50. He claims that its as clear as any Nikon or
Leupold that he has ever looked through!
Simmons whitetail classic 6-20x50. He claims that its as clear as any Nikon or
Leupold that he has ever looked through!
nddodd
Well-Known Member
This is a hilarious thread, so ive just got to add this.
A friend of mine owns an outdoor store just a few miles from my house so i spend alot of time there (good for him bad for me), and i usually here some pretty good stories from out of towners and even some of the locals. Normally i let them fell good about thier tall tales but this one dumba_ _ came in there going on and on about this new rifle he was going to buy, im not pretending to know everything about guns but i knew more than this idiot, anyway getting back to my story, he was getting one of CZ's model 550's and they had a guaranty of Half moa at 1000yds. I thought man thats pretty good to make that sort of guaranty, then he started saying "man can you believe it, it will shoot half an inch groups at a 1000yds" and going and going and going sounding dumber and dumber i finally had to say something. I told him, do you actually think that the gun will shoot half an inch groups at 1000 yards, then he got real offensive and said well thats what their website says. Then i proceeded to tell him that beats the world record by about 3 or 4 inches he said dont care just look at the website, so we did and sure nuf it said half moa which as we all know that means 5 inch groups at 1000. Try explaining moa to a half-wit not an easy task.
Sorry for making so many run on sentences. Not the best typer in the world
Nathan.
A friend of mine owns an outdoor store just a few miles from my house so i spend alot of time there (good for him bad for me), and i usually here some pretty good stories from out of towners and even some of the locals. Normally i let them fell good about thier tall tales but this one dumba_ _ came in there going on and on about this new rifle he was going to buy, im not pretending to know everything about guns but i knew more than this idiot, anyway getting back to my story, he was getting one of CZ's model 550's and they had a guaranty of Half moa at 1000yds. I thought man thats pretty good to make that sort of guaranty, then he started saying "man can you believe it, it will shoot half an inch groups at a 1000yds" and going and going and going sounding dumber and dumber i finally had to say something. I told him, do you actually think that the gun will shoot half an inch groups at 1000 yards, then he got real offensive and said well thats what their website says. Then i proceeded to tell him that beats the world record by about 3 or 4 inches he said dont care just look at the website, so we did and sure nuf it said half moa which as we all know that means 5 inch groups at 1000. Try explaining moa to a half-wit not an easy task.
Sorry for making so many run on sentences. Not the best typer in the world
Nathan.
Gene Jr.
Well-Known Member
I was at a family gathering on my wifes side and her cousins new boyfriend starts talking to me about hunting. Fine with me, he's a goose hunter, I'm a duck hunter. Sounds like the same thing but ask any waterfowler, often a big difference. So we talk about big game hunting.
Well he goes on and on, one uping everything. Ok, fine with me. I did get very interested when he told me about his terrific elk hunt last year. Went "out west" to where a friend lives and hunted with them. Tells me about a huge bull that crosses the road and he jumps out and makes a great running shot and the bull rolls back down the hill to the road dead. Big 5X5. Ok, not many huge 5X5 bulls I'm aware of but I'm from PA so what do I know. Then he whips out his cell phone and shows me a pic. I look at it and tell him that is a GREAT 140 class 10 point whitetail but wheres the elk? He replies that IS THE ELK! I smiled and found someone else to talk to. WOW!!! He really had me going for a bit.
Well he goes on and on, one uping everything. Ok, fine with me. I did get very interested when he told me about his terrific elk hunt last year. Went "out west" to where a friend lives and hunted with them. Tells me about a huge bull that crosses the road and he jumps out and makes a great running shot and the bull rolls back down the hill to the road dead. Big 5X5. Ok, not many huge 5X5 bulls I'm aware of but I'm from PA so what do I know. Then he whips out his cell phone and shows me a pic. I look at it and tell him that is a GREAT 140 class 10 point whitetail but wheres the elk? He replies that IS THE ELK! I smiled and found someone else to talk to. WOW!!! He really had me going for a bit.
