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Why my wife doesn't take me shopping!
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<blockquote data-quote="philny1" data-source="post: 160529" data-attributes="member: 7121"><p>Subject: Fw: Why I don't take MY husband shopping!</p><p> </p><p></p><p>></p><p>> Subject: Why I don't take MY husband shopping!</p><p>></p><p>></p><p>> This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.</p><p>></p><p>> After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband</p><p>> accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was</p><p>> like most men -- he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get</p><p>> out .</p><p>></p><p>> Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women -- she loved to</p><p>> browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local</p><p>> Wal-Mart.</p><p>></p><p>> Dear Mrs. Fenton,</p><p>></p><p>> Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion</p><p>> in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban</p><p>> both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed</p><p>> below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.</p><p>></p><p>> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's</p><p>> carts when they weren't looking.</p><p>></p><p>> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute</p><p>> intervals.</p><p>></p><p>> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the</p><p>> women's restroom.</p><p>></p><p>> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,</p><p>> "Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away."</p><p>></p><p>> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on</p><p>> layaway.</p><p>></p><p>> 6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.</p><p>></p><p>> 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other</p><p>> shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from</p><p>> the bedding department.</p><p>></p><p>> 8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying</p><p>> and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"</p><p>></p><p>> 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a</p><p>> mirror while he picked his nose.</p><p>></p><p>> 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked</p><p>> the clerk where the antidepressants were.</p><p>></p><p>> 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming</p><p>> the "Mission Impossible" theme.</p><p>></p><p>> 12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by</p><p>> using different sizes of funnels.</p><p>></p><p>> 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,</p><p>> yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"</p><p>></p><p>> 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he</p><p>> assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"</p><p>></p><p>> And last, but not least,</p><p>> 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,</p><p>> then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"</p><p>></p><p>> Regards,</p><p>></p><p>> Wal-Mart</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="philny1, post: 160529, member: 7121"] Subject: Fw: Why I don't take MY husband shopping! > > Subject: Why I don't take MY husband shopping! > > > This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. > > After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband > accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was > like most men -- he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get > out . > > Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women -- she loved to > browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local > Wal-Mart. > > Dear Mrs. Fenton, > > Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion > in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban > both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed > below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. > > 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's > carts when they weren't looking. > > 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute > intervals. > > 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the > women's restroom. > > 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, > "Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away." > > 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on > layaway. > > 6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area. > > 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other > shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from > the bedding department. > > 8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying > and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" > > 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a > mirror while he picked his nose. > > 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked > the clerk where the antidepressants were. > > 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming > the "Mission Impossible" theme. > > 12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by > using different sizes of funnels. > > 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, > yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!" > > 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he > assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!" > > And last, but not least, > 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, > then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!" > > Regards, > > Wal-Mart [/QUOTE]
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