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My Wife Says I'm Crude And Insensitive
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<blockquote data-quote="scope-eye" data-source="post: 2213455" data-attributes="member: 21274"><p>1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.</p><p>Female...... Any part under a car's hood.</p><p>Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.</p><p></p><p>2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.</p><p>Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to an other.</p><p>Male..... Playing football without a cup.</p><p></p><p>3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n .</p><p>Female.... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.</p><p>Male ... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.</p><p></p><p>4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.</p><p>Female..... A desire to get married and raise a family.</p><p>Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.</p><p></p><p>5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.</p><p>Female . .. . A good movie, concert, play or book.</p><p>Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.</p><p></p><p>6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.</p><p>Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.</p><p>Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.</p><p></p><p>7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.</p><p>Female....... The greatest _expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.</p><p>Male. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.</p><p></p><p>8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.</p><p>Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.</p><p>Male ... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.</p><p></p><p>Bonus material</p><p></p><p>He said . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.</p><p>She said . . .. You wear pants don't you?</p><p></p><p>He said . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?</p><p>She said, That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!</p><p></p><p>He said ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?</p><p>She said ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!</p><p></p><p>He said . . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?</p><p>She said . We don't know; it has never happened.</p><p></p><p>He said . . . Why are married women heavier than single women?</p><p>She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.</p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"></li> </ul></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scope-eye, post: 2213455, member: 21274"] 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female...... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to an other. Male..... Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n . Female.... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male ... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys. 4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n. Female..... A desire to get married and raise a family. Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one. 5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female . .. . A good movie, concert, play or book. Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer. 6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion. Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding. 7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female....... The greatest _expression of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it. 8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male ... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes. Bonus material He said . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said . . .. You wear pants don't you? He said . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said, That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! He said ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror! He said . . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? She said . We don't know; it has never happened. He said . . . Why are married women heavier than single women? She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. [LIST] [*] [/LIST] [/QUOTE]
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