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Ever stuck your foot in your mouth
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<blockquote data-quote="sullijr" data-source="post: 239268" data-attributes="member: 3503"><p>Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the</p><p>>> words</p><p>>> back or that you could crawl into a hole?</p><p>>> Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....</p><p>>></p><p>>> FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and</p><p>>> three kids</p><p>>> in tow</p><p>>> and asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow</p><p>>> job?'</p><p>>> I turned around and walked back out and never went back.</p><p>>> My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.</p><p>>></p><p>>> SECOND TESTIMONY: I was at the golf store comparing different kinds</p><p>>> of golf</p><p>>> balls. I was unhappy with the women's type</p><p>>> I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was</p><p>>> approached by</p><p>>> one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.</p><p>>> He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him</p><p>>> and said,</p><p>>> 'I think I like playing with men's balls.'</p><p>>></p><p>>> THIRD TESTIMONY: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a</p><p>>> store that</p><p>>> sold a variety of candy and nuts.</p><p>>> As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter</p><p>>> asked if</p><p>>> we needed any help.</p><p>>> I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.' My sister started</p><p>>> to laugh</p><p>>> hysterically.</p><p>>> The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this</p><p>>> day, my</p><p>>> sister has never let me forget.</p><p>>></p><p>>> FOURTH TESTIMONY: While in line at the bank one afternoon, my</p><p>>> toddler</p><p>>> decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.</p><p>>> I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of</p><p>>> disgust and</p><p>>> annoyance from other patrons.</p><p>>> I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would</p><p>>> be</p><p>>> punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and</p><p>>> said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right</p><p>>> now, I</p><p>>> will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'</p><p>>> The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even</p><p>>> the tellers</p><p>>> stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my</p><p>>> dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The</p><p>>> last thing I</p><p>>> heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.</p><p>>></p><p>>></p><p>>> FIFTH TESTIMONY: Have you ever asked your child a question too many</p><p>>> times?</p><p>>> My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training</p><p>>> and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a</p><p>>> quick</p><p>>> lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.</p><p>>> While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I</p><p>>> checked my</p><p>>> seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.</p><p>>> The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I</p><p>>> asked him if</p><p>>> he needed to go, and he said 'No'. I kept thinking 'Oh Lord,</p><p>>> that child has had an accident, a nd I don't have any clothes with</p><p>>> me.' Then</p><p>>> I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'</p><p>>> 'No,' he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,</p><p>>> because the</p><p>>> smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked on! e more time,</p><p>>> 'Danny, did you have an accident?' This time he jumped up, yanked</p><p>>> down his</p><p>>> pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled</p><p>>> 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!' While 30 people nearly choked to death</p><p>>> on their</p><p>>> tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.</p><p>>> An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh</p><p>>> they'd</p><p>>> ever had!</p><p>>></p><p>>></p><p>>> LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY: This had most of the state of Michigan</p><p>>> laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor,</p><p>>> who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What</p><p>>> happens when</p><p>>> you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor who,</p><p>>> the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to</p><p>>> the</p><p>>> weatherman and asked: 'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised</p><p>>> me last</p><p>>> night?'</p><p>>> Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too</p><p>>> they were</p><p>>> laughing so hard!</p><p>>></p><p>>> Now, didn't that feel GOOD? and your own don't seem so bad?</p><p>>></p><p>>> Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh and remember we</p><p>>> all say</p><p>>> things we don't really mean, so I suppose the lesson is:'Think</p><p>>> before you</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="sullijr, post: 239268, member: 3503"] Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the >> words >> back or that you could crawl into a hole? >> Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did.... >> >> FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and >> three kids >> in tow >> and asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow >> job?' >> I turned around and walked back out and never went back. >> My husband didn't say a word... he knew better. >> >> SECOND TESTIMONY: I was at the golf store comparing different kinds >> of golf >> balls. I was unhappy with the women's type >> I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was >> approached by >> one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. >> He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him >> and said, >> 'I think I like playing with men's balls.' >> >> THIRD TESTIMONY: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a >> store that >> sold a variety of candy and nuts. >> As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter >> asked if >> we needed any help. >> I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.' My sister started >> to laugh >> hysterically. >> The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this >> day, my >> sister has never let me forget. >> >> FOURTH TESTIMONY: While in line at the bank one afternoon, my >> toddler >> decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. >> I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of >> disgust and >> annoyance from other patrons. >> I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would >> be >> punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and >> said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right >> now, I >> will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' >> The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even >> the tellers >> stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my >> dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The >> last thing I >> heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter. >> >> >> FIFTH TESTIMONY: Have you ever asked your child a question too many >> times? >> My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training >> and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a >> quick >> lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. >> While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I >> checked my >> seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. >> The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I >> asked him if >> he needed to go, and he said 'No'. I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, >> that child has had an accident, a nd I don't have any clothes with >> me.' Then >> I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?' >> 'No,' he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, >> because the >> smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked on! e more time, >> 'Danny, did you have an accident?' This time he jumped up, yanked >> down his >> pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled >> 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!' While 30 people nearly choked to death >> on their >> tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. >> An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh >> they'd >> ever had! >> >> >> LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY: This had most of the state of Michigan >> laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor, >> who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What >> happens when >> you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor who, >> the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to >> the >> weatherman and asked: 'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised >> me last >> night?' >> Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too >> they were >> laughing so hard! >> >> Now, didn't that feel GOOD? and your own don't seem so bad? >> >> Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh and remember we >> all say >> things we don't really mean, so I suppose the lesson is:'Think >> before you [/QUOTE]
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