Top 8 Morons

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Southpaw, May 15, 2008.

  1. Southpaw

    Southpaw Well-Known Member

    May 17, 2007
    TOP 8 MORONS OF 2007 (These are all true)

    1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter
    after nine months, saying he lacked intelligent leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

    2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two
    hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his
    home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man
    was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, 'Please come out and
    give yourself up.'

    3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a
    motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines,
    wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank

    4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for
    all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

    5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery
    suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives
    asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your
    money or I'll shoot', the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!'.

    6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife
    is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her
    first child?' the doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'

    7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King
    was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

    8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the
    high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating,
    were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get
    their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every
    maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of
    trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone
    there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check
    revealed everything in perfect working condition The engine ran fine,
    the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and
    pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check
    underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
    Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!