Arkansas Gorilla Problem

Discussion in 'Humor' started by philny1, Apr 24, 2007.

  1. philny1

    philny1 Well-Known Member

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    A small zoo in Arkansas obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a beautiful female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

    Thinking about their problem, the zoo keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.

    The zoo keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Bobby Lee showed some interest but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day he announced that he would accept their offer but only under four conditions.

    "First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

    "Second", he said, "You can't never tell no one about this." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

    "Third", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again, it was agreed.

    "And lastly", Bobby Lee said, "I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00."
     
  2. Freakshow

    Freakshow Active Member

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    Hey bearless,
    Did you hear the one about the Dogpatch,NY jackass problem?
    END OF STORY!!! HA-HA-HA, now that is funny.
     

  3. bailey1474

    bailey1474 <strong>SPONSOR</strong>

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    Funny!!! I thought it would have been funnier w/the name "Jimmie Brown" instead of Bobby Lee though /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif.
     
  4. Nomosendero

    Nomosendero Well-Known Member

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    [ QUOTE ]
    Hey bearless,
    Did you hear the one about the Dogpatch,NY jackass problem?
    END OF STORY!!! HA-HA-HA, now that is funny.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Yes indeed!!

    I would be curious as to the definition of Redneck. Most are clueless. I do know which groups of people will not give us gun control problems, homo problems &amp; being weak in general.

    I KNOW that I don't have to worry about a "Southern Redneck"
    trying to mess up my World or the freedoms &amp; blessings that all folks on this forum hold dear. But a Northeastern Socialist Democrap, now there is a problem group. And that is the real "zoo" we see each day.
     
  5. philny1

    philny1 Well-Known Member

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    [ QUOTE ]
    [ QUOTE ]
    Hey bearless,
    Did you hear the one about the Dogpatch,NY jackass problem?
    END OF STORY!!! HA-HA-HA, now that is funny.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Yes indeed!!

    I would be curious as to the definition of Redneck. Most are clueless. I do know which groups of people will not give us gun control problems, homo problems &amp; being weak in general.

    I KNOW that I don't have to worry about a "Southern Redneck"
    trying to mess up my World or the freedoms &amp; blessings that all folks on this forum hold dear. But a Northeastern Socialist Democrap, now there is a problem group. And that is the real "zoo" we see each day.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    This part of our forum is labeled humor. This is just a joke that was sent to me and I'd thought I share it.
    Not about religion, politics, gun control.....a joke.....do you understand???
    Awwww.....you're puttin' me on........Bobby Lee tat you???
     
  6. Nomosendero

    Nomosendero Well-Known Member

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    Yea, I get it &amp; I did the first time. Have a nice day.
     
  7. sharpshooter1

    sharpshooter1 Well-Known Member

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    Well now I define redneck the same way as Mr. Foxworthy: A glorious absence of sophistication /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif hmm, I drive a truck with a simple carb, I shoot a bot action rifle and a pump action 12 gauge, I guess that makes me a redneck /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif
     
  8. Freakshow

    Freakshow Active Member

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    Don't worry there bearless, I know it's just a joke. I ain't
    mad at'cha. But come on, a New Yorky(or Yorker, whatever ya'll are called) takes a poke at an Arkansan and you don't expect me to poke back. I know you don't know me so I'll let you slide on this one. Just keep in mind...what you do to me you get back ten fold! That's why I volunteered to come back to Iraq. WORD!!!!
     
  9. Freakshow

    Freakshow Active Member

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    Hey nomo, you can't receive private messages. I'm with the 39th Infantry.
     
  10. MachV

    MachV Well-Known Member

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    I too got the joke but it would have ben funnier and more realistic if they would have offered the job to the president of the board of directors of the zoo......ya know they got where they is by bending over everything in their path!!
     
  11. bailey1474

    bailey1474 <strong>SPONSOR</strong>

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    You guys just need a little thicker skin. Being from Oklahoma, I've gotten used to to being the butt of some jokes. Heck, I even laugh @ them.
     
  12. philny1

    philny1 Well-Known Member

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    [ QUOTE ]
    Don't worry there bearless, I know it's just a joke. I ain't
    mad at'cha. But come on, a New Yorky(or Yorker, whatever ya'll are called) takes a poke at an Arkansan and you don't expect me to poke back. I know you don't know me so I'll let you slide on this one. Just keep in mind...what you do to me you get back ten fold! That's why I volunteered to come back to Iraq. WORD!!!!

    [/ QUOTE ]
    I'll sleep much better tonite ,knowing that. Redneck jokes been around so long, never gave it a thought someone might take offense. Poor Imus, now I know how hemus feel!!! Shame on me!!
    A Yorky....think thats a cute little dog. What do they call us from NY??? Anything ya want I guess, I don't let that sh!t bother me.
    I promise, if I ever repeat that joke......I'll say the monkey was from NY.
    God Bless and take care of yourself over there.
    Phil
    I like cats.
     
  13. redbone

    redbone Well-Known Member

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    They have did this for years .

    one of the off spring lived in Hope Ark .
    Then he became Gov of the state an then he moved to washington DC for 8 years . I think he is liveing in New York with his wifle . She may be one of the off spring to . The Zoo try to keep the family tree to go in an cricle .

    Remember this is an humor Post
    .
     
  14. Packrat 6

    Packrat 6 Well-Known Member

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    Good enough to move forward ...LOL

    Packrat