St. Peter

Discussion in 'Humor' started by 1kstr, Apr 2, 2007.

  1. 1kstr

    1kstr Well-Known Member

    Dec 20, 2006
    A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

    "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

    "Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered.

    "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground."

    I yelled, "Now, back off! Or I'll kick the C#*! out of all of you!"

    St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"

    "Just a couple minutes ago."

  2. Jimm

    Jimm Writers Guild

    Jun 12, 2007

  3. CatShooter

    CatShooter Well-Known Member

    May 8, 2001
    I heard it a little different...


    A man appears at the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter greats him.

    "Young man - you have died and I must judge you to see if you are worthy of entrance.

    But I see from my book that you have had a sinful and lascivious life, a womanizer, a gambler, and you have never done any good deed to help anyone else!!"

    "well, I can't be that bad... maybe you can make an exception and let me in?"

    Saint Peter said, "Have you EVER done anything to help another that might aid your case?"

    The young man replies:

    "Saint Peter... Wait, this might be it.

    I was driving down the road after finishing the Fatal Force V match at ThunderGun Farm. I saw a young lady whose car had stalled on the road. She was surrounded by a vile gang of evil bikers, and one of them was armed with an old .38 S&W break top.

    They were taunting her and pawing and tearing at her clothing, and clearly wanted to have their way with her.

    I screeched to a stop, and I approached using a dominant Weaver stance and commanded...

    "You dirty, slime sucking bunch of faggots... Don't move. Get away from her! Don't make me take action! I’m an expert gunfighter and you'll be very sorry!"

    At the same time, I started to clear my Chip McKimber "Custom" 1911 M3000 with Tabasco Red Dot sights and stocked with Black Avenger super-comp grips, and loaded with 300gr Frangible JWSCHPSTs "steel kyllers" from my Malt Gallop Lightning Wear comp VII Holster, and... "

    St. Peter interrupted: "I'm sorry, but there's no record of this good deed in my book... When did this happen?"

    "About three minutes ago!"