Security Levels Across the pond.

Discussion in 'Humor' started by royinidaho, Jun 23, 2007.

  1. royinidaho

    royinidaho Writers Guild

    Jan 20, 2004
    Don't be too rough on me, but I do think its worth a chuckle...

    The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist activities and have raised their security level from “Miffed" to "Peeved." Some, though, say that security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."

    The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

    Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

    It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

    The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels..

    The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
  2. tackb

    tackb Well-Known Member

    Jun 5, 2007
    I'm an Englishman and one of our best attributes is the ability to laugh at ourselves, your appraisal of europe had me in fits of laughter !!! just thinking about some of your points gets me giggling again !

    we've had a bit of trouble with the rag heads again (driving a burning car into glasgow airpot) why can't they realise that we will not be intimidated, our pathetic government may be? but English men such as me and many others will not be scared!we stood up to superiour odds in two world wars and many other smaller engagements.nobody has invaded England since 1066 (bloody french again!)

  3. Centre Punch

    Centre Punch Well-Known Member

    Oct 29, 2004
    Excellent Roy /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

    However, on a more serious note the western world must realise that is not just terrorism but Muslin fundamentalists fanatical interpretation of the Koran.
    We have prided our selves previously with our tolerance of other cultures and religions but this kind of fanaticism can no longer be tolerated and must be stopped before more innocent people are killed or maimed in the name of Islam