Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
Articles
Latest reviews
Author list
Classifieds
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles and first posts only
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Chatting and General Stuff
Humor
Puns for educated minds
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Brno308" data-source="post: 672480" data-attributes="member: 46887"><p>I log on to this site just about everyday and dilligently read most of the new posts, but contribute very little myself. With all the knowledge contained by the memebers here I actually have very little to add thats new.</p><p> </p><p>Since I needed a bit of a chuckle this morning I just happen to find these old puns on my laptop, so here's my contribution for today.</p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">"The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian…</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">Atheism is a non-prophet organization.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">A backward poet writes inverse.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">Some cannibals ate a missionary. They got a taste of religion.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did."</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black"></span></span> </p><p></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">This a great site, keep up the good works folks.</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Brno308, post: 672480, member: 46887"] I log on to this site just about everyday and dilligently read most of the new posts, but contribute very little myself. With all the knowledge contained by the memebers here I actually have very little to add thats new. Since I needed a bit of a chuckle this morning I just happen to find these old puns on my laptop, so here's my contribution for today. [COLOR=black][FONT=Tahoma]"The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.[/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian…[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.[/COLOR][/FONT] [COLOR=black][FONT=Tahoma]A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.[/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]Atheism is a non-prophet organization.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]A backward poet writes inverse.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]Some cannibals ate a missionary. They got a taste of religion.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Tahoma]Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'[/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did."[/COLOR][/FONT] [/COLOR][/FONT] [COLOR=black][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]This a great site, keep up the good works folks.[/FONT][/COLOR] [/FONT][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Chatting and General Stuff
Humor
Puns for educated minds
Top