New regulations.....

Discussion in 'Long Range Hunting & Shooting' started by hitsthemark, Dec 1, 2005.

  1. hitsthemark

    hitsthemark Member

    Nov 22, 2004
    Perusing this forum and many others always proves that most of us still have views on the old Keith-O'Connor debate of larger-slower bullets VS. smaller-faster ones. I realized that any such lomg standing debate could only be settled through an act of wrote my congressman. Here are the results that have come from Washington.

    From the desk of Sen. Shootsis Mouthoff

    The correct selection of calibers for hunting is an issue that has divided this nation and the hunting community for thousands of years. I am proud to announce that intense studies and debate has created new legislation to finally resolve these issues.

    Article A: Wardship of Game- Traditionally game is considered owned by individual states and regulated by local DOW's. Unfortunately, these furry wards of the state frequently cross state lines without permission. A committee determined that it was the responsibility of the FBI to apprehend these animals and return them to thier states, but the FBI refused. Their appeal was upheld. As a result it has been decided that the animals now are wards of the United States and may be regulated by Federal Law.

    Article B: Standard Hunting- The debate on ballistics was determined to be less important at "standard hunting ranges". A committee commissioned a study of game animals killed at standard ranges with varios calibers to determine which were more dead. Not only were all of the animals killed equally dead, those animals interviewed stated no preferrence of cartidge used.
    The next step was to determine what "standard hunting range WAS. Another study was commissioned to determine this based on the shooting capabilities of the 5W hunter class. ( The 5W hunter class is the Wally World Weekend Warrior Wacko) The study found that the average 5W hunter could reasonably be expected to hit a stationary broadside target at 200 yards or less 50% of the time. It was therefore decided that current local gun laws would apply for game to be shot under 200 yards. Shooting of game with these calibers OVER 200 yards would be subject to substantial penalty.

    Article C: Long-Range Hunting- It was determined that any hunting\shooting from 200 yards to 2 miles is considered "Long-Range" and subject to the new licensing laws. Hunting in excess of 2 miles will fall under the "Very-Long Range" statutes, currently being written.

    Article D: Standardization of Calibers. It was determined that Long Range Hunting must have standardized calibers. This would ensure the best possible ease of regulation and pose the least variable to hunters AND game. A study was commissioned to select the correct calibers. Because poor selection would be a political liability, the commission was unwilling to select EITHER larger-slower bullets, or smaller-faster bullets. It was concluded that LARGER-FASTER bullets were the only appropriate bullets. It was also determined that standardization would also allow the individual states to hand out "dope charts" customized to the local terrain and climate with every Long-Rang Hunting License.
    Article D1: Long Range Hunting of Small-Medium Game- It was decided that game under 300 lbs. was considered small-medium. This decision was relatively arbitrary and based on the fact that Happy Hour started in 30 minutes and a decision had to be made. It was concluded that the 300 Weatherby Magnum with 150 bullet was the legal caliber. It was decided that with a MPBR of 340 yards, it would have minimal sufficient energies to humanely kill these smaller animals even at longer ranges. Absolutely NO exceptions\substitutions will be permitted. ( except one)
    Article D2: Long Range Hunting Large Game- Game in excess of 300 lbs was determined as "Large". After much debate, it was decided that the .378 Weatherby Magnum with 200 grain bullets was the correct choice. Absolutely NO exception\substitutions will be permitted. ( except one)

    Addendum A: It is understood that the above calibers are failry light for their applications. It was unanimously decided by the Caliber Selection Committee that the .50 BMG was the actual ideal Long-Range Hunting caliber for ALL game out past 200 yards. However, studies showed that .50BMG's are not available , or even orderable, at Wally World. As such, the above calibers were selected as a compromise so as not to place an undue burden on hunters. Owners of a .50BMG MAY legally Long-Range hunt with those
    Recoil Advisory: Near the end of our studies the issue of recoil was raised. The motion was brought by a 17 year old cheerleader who had bruised her shoulder while jack-lighting bullfrogs with her boyfriends .223. A study of recoil was commissioned. 2500 .50BMG shooters were interviewed. All 2500 ststed that recoile was irrelevant and cited that even when shoulder firing their .50 BMG from an off-hand position, the recoil was only slightly higher than a .22LR. Considering the fact that the recommended cartridges only recoil between 35-60 foot-pounds, the study was terminated and the matter disposed of as frivolous.

    This legislation is expected to be passed by the end of the year. We are confident that this will help clarify debates, unify the hunting community and guarantee safe, humane hunting for posterity. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
  2. urbaneruralite

    urbaneruralite Active Member

    Nov 20, 2005

  3. lovdasnow

    lovdasnow Well-Known Member

    Nov 13, 2005
    is this for real???