Just in case you need a laugh:

Discussion in 'Humor' started by philny1, Aug 7, 2008.

  1. philny1

    philny1 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    698
    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2006
    Subject: Fw: Giggle for the day......











    Just in case you need a laugh:

    Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.



    After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

    The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.....

    Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded by the maintenance engineers (marked with an "S").


    By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
    *
    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
    *
    P: Something loose in cockpit
    S: Something tightened in cockpit
    *
    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.
    *
    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
    *
    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.
    *
    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.
    *
    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what friction locks are for.
    *
    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
    *
    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.
    *
    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
    *
    P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
    *
    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
    *
    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.
    *
    And the best one for last
    *
    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.
     
  2. specweldtom

    specweldtom Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,066
    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2004
    Phil, my youngest brother was an Airdale in the Navy. (Plane crew) I've got to show him this one.

    Thanks, Tom
     

  3. James Jones

    James Jones Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,854
    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2002
    That funny and way to true !!

    I get some realy stupid work orders somtimes that look alot like that , we are issued a small tablet computer for all our labor charging and you HAVE to make notes after you fix somthing , I was putting some replys that brought light to the dumb ass questios like above just to get under the enginer's skin.
    I was given three days off work for it , apparently a NASA auditor saw one and decided to "track" me and my labor.

    I think that some folks start to lose all their general knowledge and common sence brain cells after to long in school.
     
  4. specweldtom

    specweldtom Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,066
    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2004
    James, someone said "Beware of letting your schooling get in the way of your education".

    Also "ignorance can be remedied, but stupidity is incurable"

    The first one hasn't been a problem for me (no schooling), but I've worried about the second one ever since I realized that I've got a lot of history being both.

    Tom

    I still say the redface looks constipated.