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History Lesson or Why it is now the way that it is.
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<blockquote data-quote="royinidaho" data-source="post: 212972" data-attributes="member: 2011"><p>></p><p>> History lesson</p><p>></p><p>> Humans originally existed as members of small bands of</p><p>> nomadic</p><p>> hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains</p><p>> during the</p><p>> summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and</p><p>> lobster in the</p><p>> winter.</p><p>></p><p>> The two most important events in all of history were:</p><p>> 1. The invention of beer, and</p><p>> 2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to</p><p>> get beer</p><p>> to the men.</p><p>></p><p>> These were the foundation of modern civilization and</p><p>> together were</p><p>> the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two</p><p>> distinct</p><p>> subgroups:</p><p>></p><p>> 1. Liberals</p><p>> 2. Conservatives.</p><p>></p><p>> Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was</p><p>> the</p><p>> beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor</p><p>> aluminum can</p><p>> were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting</p><p>> around</p><p>> waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to</p><p>> the</p><p>> brewery. That's how villages were formed.</p><p>></p><p>> Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to</p><p>> B-B-Q at night while they drank beer. This was the</p><p>> beginning of</p><p>> what is known as the Conservative movement.</p><p>></p><p>> Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting</p><p>> learned to</p><p>> live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly</p><p>> B-B-Q's and</p><p>> doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the</p><p>> beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal</p><p>> men</p><p>> eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as</p><p>> girlie-men.</p><p>></p><p>> Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the</p><p>> domestication of</p><p>> cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the</p><p>> concept of</p><p>> Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer</p><p>> that</p><p>> conservatives provided.</p><p>></p><p>> Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the</p><p>> largest,</p><p>> most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals</p><p>> are</p><p>> symbolized by the *** (Liberals sometimes call this animal</p><p>> a</p><p>> donkey).</p><p>></p><p>> Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but</p><p>> most</p><p>> prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw</p><p>> fish but</p><p>> like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are</p><p>> standard</p><p>> liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note:</p><p>> most of</p><p>> their women have higher testosterone levels than their men.</p><p>> Most</p><p>> social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists,</p><p>> dreamers in</p><p>> Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals</p><p>> invented the</p><p>> designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make</p><p>> the pitcher</p><p>> also bat.</p><p>></p><p>> Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and</p><p>> still</p><p>> provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game</p><p>> hunters, rodeo</p><p>> cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen,</p><p>> medical</p><p>> doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes,</p><p>> Marines,</p><p>> and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives</p><p>> who own</p><p>> companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a</p><p>> living.</p><p>></p><p>> Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the</p><p>> producers and decide what to do with the production.</p><p>> Liberals</p><p>> believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That</p><p>> is why</p><p>> most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives</p><p>> were</p><p>> coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was</p><p>> tamed and</p><p>> created a business of trying to get more for nothing.</p><p>></p><p>> Here ends today's lesson in world history.......</p><p>></p><p>> It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge</p><p>> to</p><p>> angrily stamp his/her foot in response to the above.</p><p>></p><p>> A Conservative will simply laugh and forward it to every</p><p>> liberal</p><p>> they know just to **** them off....</p><p>></p><p>> Have A Great Day!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="royinidaho, post: 212972, member: 2011"] > > History lesson > > Humans originally existed as members of small bands of > nomadic > hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains > during the > summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and > lobster in the > winter. > > The two most important events in all of history were: > 1. The invention of beer, and > 2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to > get beer > to the men. > > These were the foundation of modern civilization and > together were > the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two > distinct > subgroups: > > 1. Liberals > 2. Conservatives. > > Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was > the > beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor > aluminum can > were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting > around > waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to > the > brewery. That's how villages were formed. > > Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to > B-B-Q at night while they drank beer. This was the > beginning of > what is known as the Conservative movement. > > Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting > learned to > live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly > B-B-Q's and > doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the > beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal > men > eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as > girlie-men. > > Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the > domestication of > cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the > concept of > Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer > that > conservatives provided. > > Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the > largest, > most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals > are > symbolized by the *** (Liberals sometimes call this animal > a > donkey). > > Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but > most > prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw > fish but > like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are > standard > liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: > most of > their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. > Most > social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, > dreamers in > Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals > invented the > designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make > the pitcher > also bat. > > Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and > still > provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game > hunters, rodeo > cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, > medical > doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, > Marines, > and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives > who own > companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a > living. > > Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the > producers and decide what to do with the production. > Liberals > believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That > is why > most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives > were > coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was > tamed and > created a business of trying to get more for nothing. > > Here ends today's lesson in world history....... > > It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge > to > angrily stamp his/her foot in response to the above. > > A Conservative will simply laugh and forward it to every > liberal > they know just to **** them off.... > > Have A Great Day!! [/QUOTE]
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