Flatulence speaks?

Discussion in 'Humor' started by specweldtom, Mar 18, 2010.

  1. specweldtom

    specweldtom Well-Known Member

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    A guy had gone to many doctors trying to cure an embarrassing problem. None were able to diagnose or treat it. While at his dentist's office for a checkup, he mentioned that he had a medical problem, but it was apparently incurable. His dentist asked if he minded telling him about it. Sheepishly, the guy confided that when he farted, it sounded like "Honda", and anyone who heard it would point at him and usually laugh out loud and he was really tired of it. The dentist said that he might be able to help. Sure enough, after a thorough examination, the dentist had good news for him. "I can cure you", he said calmly. Skeptically, the guy asked him what he had found that so many medical doctors had missed. The dentist replied that he had an abcessed tooth, and that "abcess makes the fart go Honda".

    Sorry, Tom
     
  2. winmag

    winmag Well-Known Member

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    So this dislexic guy walks into a bra........:D
    I get that one, but honda???? what did I overlook? Have you been sniffing the superglue fumes from Royinidaho's ammo factory?
     

  3. Krakkon

    Krakkon Well-Known Member

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    Uhmmm....
     
  4. Boss Hoss

    Boss Hoss Well-Known Member

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    I am going to sniff the screen when I re-read Roy's Super Glue thread to see if it gets funnier!!!
     
  5. specweldtom

    specweldtom Well-Known Member

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    I'm getting old enough that I don't buy green bananas anymore.

    There used to be a well known phrase,"absence makes the heart grow fonder". It's a play on that.

    I gotta update my material!

    Tom
     
  6. winmag

    winmag Well-Known Member

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    Oh ok.:D
     
  7. royinidaho

    royinidaho Writers Guild

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    Sheese!!!! :D

    I to am aged as I 'got' it.

    How about "Wait till the Nun signs Shelly?"
     
  8. specweldtom

    specweldtom Well-Known Member

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    Roy, lots of things are funny to me, but I'm a sucker for the play on words jokes. You gave us the punch line, now you need to do the whole thing.

    Here's another one.

    My favorite superhero is a dog named "Kal". He only has one super power though, and it's his horribly bad breath! Yep, halitosis of biblical proportions. One bark and he can knock a whole gang of bad guys unconscious. Other than that, he's weak and fragile, so you could say "Super Kal is fragilistic 'cept for halitosis!"

    I ain't apologizing no more, I was humidified by the last one ............. Tom

    Len, I still say the redfaced icon is purple and looks constipated.
     
  9. royinidaho

    royinidaho Writers Guild

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    It was the end of a long travel day for Shelly Winters and her personal assistant.

    They rushed out of the cap, entered the hotel and rapidly approached the registration counter to sign in.

    A couple of Nuns were a step or two ahead of them and got to the desk first. Shelly Winters rudely elbowed to a position ahead of them........

    Her personal assistant say "Wait till the Nuns sign Shelly."


    Then there's the one about oppornoctity.......
     
  10. winmag

    winmag Well-Known Member

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    Its not purple? I thought it was purple too.........and now that you mention it, he does look like he needs to ''bust a gopher'' doesnt he.:D
     
  11. Chas1

    Chas1 Well-Known Member

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    You guys are too funny, reminds me of the knock knock jokes.
     
  12. LRSickle

    LRSickle Well-Known Member

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    When Royinidaho was a young boy he went to the zoo to see the sabor-toothed tigers, (yes, he's that old!). He was sporting some brand new shoes his mom had made him out of yak skin. While he was standing by the tiger cage one of them reached out and grabbed Roy's foot and tore one of his new shoes right off his foot. A guard, seeing tha whole thing ran over to Roy and said, pointing at one of the cats, "pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed you new shoe"

    You know, Chattanooga choo choo.
     
  13. specweldtom

    specweldtom Well-Known Member

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    Awwwrriiight LR!!! I was there that day, down at the Mammoth compound.

    Tom