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<blockquote data-quote="dogdinger" data-source="post: 258497" data-attributes="member: 9616"><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> (Downtown, Savannah )</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> I was the white guy with the black</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">somehow come across this message.</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> I'd like to apologize. I</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Kim ber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">at your head, isn't it?</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> &n bsp; I know it probably wasn't a great</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">mug us again. </span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> I took the liberty of calling your</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">itself in a dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">a day now, so I don't know what's going on with</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">the DA's office with it. Oh well.</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> So, about your pants. I know20that I</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">not killing you and instead making you walk back home</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> If you read this message, email me</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'">and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> - Alex</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dogdinger, post: 258497, member: 9616"] [FONT=Arial]To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah ) I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kim ber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? &n bsp; I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well. So, about your pants. I know20that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace! - Alex[/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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