Couple in Church

[elf]

One morning in church an old lady leaned over and whispered to her husband, "Honey I just let out a silent fart, what should I do next?"

Husband says, "You should probably change the battery in your hearing aid."

 

[GrayCreed]

How does a lumberjack keep track of how many trees he cuts down .....?

 

[DJ Fergus]

Old man sitting with his wife says: honey, I think I'm going to go to the kitchen and get some ice cream. Would you like some? Wife says: sure, I would love some.... 30 minutes later he comes out of the kitchen with a plate of breakfast for each him and her. He hands her a plate and with a hateful tone she says "I told you that I wanted my eggs scrambled" .

Reminds me of my parents.

My mom keeps telling me how bad my dad's memory is getting but what she don't realize is that hers is just as bad as his.

 

[GrayCreed]

How does a lumberjack keep track of how many trees he cuts down .....?

He logs it!

 

[BW64]

...

 

[GLTaylor]

...

My wife is a retired nurse. Just read this to her. Thought she'd wet her pants laughing!

 

[yankee outlaw]

my wife and daughter are both a nurse yea they love it
thanks for the laugh

 

[yankee outlaw]

i have a ? does it take a big dog to weigh 100 lbs

 

[GLTaylor]

Rhetorical or for real? I've got a 140 lb. male lab!