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What the heck is a Mensa Invitational, huh?
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<blockquote data-quote="royinidaho" data-source="post: 201714" data-attributes="member: 2011"><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong> Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>The winners are:</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an *******.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it's a serious bummer.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>14. Glibido: All talk and no action.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>And the winners are:</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>13. pokemon , n. a Rastafarian proctologist.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000a0"><strong>16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.</strong></span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="royinidaho, post: 201714, member: 2011"] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0000a0][B] Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. The winners are: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an *******. 3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. 11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it's a serious bummer. 13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you 14. Glibido: All talk and no action. 15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are: 1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs. 2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent. 6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown. 7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp. 8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller. 10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline. 11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam. 12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. pokemon , n. a Rastafarian proctologist. 14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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