Roses is red, and muh dogs name was Blue, And I'm so lucky to have a darlin like you. Yore hair is like corn silk flapping in the breeze. Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas. ... You move like the bass which excite me in May. You ain't got no scales but I like it that way. Yo're as satisfy'n as okry in the pan. Yo're as fragrant as snuff straight from the can. You have a few teeth for which I'm so proud; I hold my head high when we're in a crowd. On special occasions when you shave neath yore arms, Well, I'm in hawg heaven and awed by yore charms. Them fellers at work they all want to know, What I did to deserve such a purty young doe. Like a roll of good duct tape you're there fer yore man, To patch up my troubles cause I know that you can. Yo're as cute as a junebug that's buzzin my head. You ain't mean like them fire ants under my bed. Cut from good cloth like a plaid flannel shirt, You spark up my life better'n a fresh load of fresh dirt. When you hold me real tight like a padded gun rack, I feel like there's nuthin in life that I lack. Yore complexion it's perfection like the best vinyl sidin'. Despite all the years that it's definitely hidin'. We're like a Moon Pie with n a RC cold drank, We go together like a skunk goes with stank. Some men they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day; They git em at Wal-Mart cause it's romantic that way. Some men they git roses on that special day From the cooler at Kroger "That's impressive," I say. Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth. "Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth. But for this man, honey, these trifles won't do, Cause yor'e way too special you cuddly thang you. I got you a gift without taste and no odor, More useful than diamonds...... IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!