A newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishoners. You must abstain from sex for an entire month." The couple agreed, but after just 2 1/2 weeks they returned to the pastor. When the pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed. "You are back so soon. Is there a problem?", the pastor inquired. "We're terribly sorry, but we were not able to abstain from sex, for the required month", admitted the young man. The pastor asked what had happened. "Well, the first week was difficult; but we were able to abstain by sheer will power. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer we managed to abstain. The third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, reading the Bible, prayer or anything that would keep our minds free of carnal thoughts. However, one afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick up the paint can, I noticed that she wasn't wearing any panties. I was overcome with lust and had my way with her, right then and there", admitted the young man shamefacedly. "You realize that you will not be welcomed into our church", stated the pastor. "We know, replied the young man, we're no longer welcome at Home Depot either."