The Lone Ranger and Tonto

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Sendero_Man, Feb 18, 2008.

  1. Sendero_Man

    Sendero_Man <strong>SPONSOR</strong>

    Feb 4, 2007
    The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent
    all set up, both men fell sound
    Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,
    "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see? "

    "The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
    "What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

    The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,
    "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of
    galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
    Astrologically , it tells me that Saturn is in Leo
    Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
    Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
    Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell
    you, Tonto?"

    "You dumber than buffalo shit. It means someone stole the tent.
  2. Grunter

    Grunter New Member

    Jan 12, 2008
    Here is another Tonto and the Lone Ranger one.

    Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding, out on the prairie, lost. Frustrated, the Lone Ranger tells Tonto to get off his horse and see if he can work out where they are.

    Tonto gets off his horse and puts his ear to the ground, listening for any other riders etc.

    About 5 minutes later, the Lone Ranger, still pissed off, asks Tonto if he has found anything yet.

    Tonto replies "Buffalo come"

    Lone ranger stands up in his saddle looking for the buffalo, he can't see anything, not any dust on the horizon stirred up by a bunch of buffalo.

    He asks Tonto, how can you possibly know that, I can't see any sign of buffalo.

    Tonto replies "Ear stuck to ground"!