The difference between a Liberal, a Conservative and a Redneck

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Southpaw, Jun 16, 2007.

  1. Southpaw

    Southpaw Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    250
    Joined:
    May 17, 2007
    This is old but still funny (and true)

    The question, You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a loaded Colt 45 cal. semi-automatic pistol and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

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    Liberal Answer:

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What do the kids think? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be just as content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to some conclusion. Maybe I could just talk to himand find the reason for his rageand he will calmdown and the two of us can go get a cup of coffee.
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    Conservitive Answer:

    BANG!
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    Rednecks Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    click...(the sound of a Wilson ten round clip being ejected and a fresh ten rounder being driven home)

    Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"

    Son: "Moms right Dad, I saw it too..."

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

    Daughter " Nice grouping daddy!"


    Southpaw