The Book Of Genesis - (marine Corps Version)

Discussion in 'Humor' started by philny1, Nov 11, 2007.

  1. philny1

    philny1 Well-Known Member

    Dec 27, 2006
    In the beginning was the word, and the word was God.

    In the beginning was God, and all else was darkness and void, and without
    form. So God created the heavens and the Earth. He created the sun, and
    the moon, and the stars, so that light might pierce the darkness. The
    Earth, God divided between the land and the sea, and these he filled with
    many assorted creatures.

    And the dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths of
    the oceans, God called sailors. And He dressed them accordingly. They had
    little trousers that looked like bells at the bottom. And their shirts had
    cute little flaps on them to hide the hickeys on their necks. He also gave
    them long sideburns and shabby looking beards. God nicknamed them "squids"
    and banished them to a lifetime at sea, so that normal folks would not have
    to associate with them. To further identify these unloved creatures, He
    called them "petty" and "commodore" instead of titles worthy of red-blooded

    And the flaky creatures of the land, God called soldiers. And with a
    twinkle in His eye, and a sense of humor that only He could have, God made
    their trousers too short and their covers (hats) too large. He also made
    their pockets oversized, so that they may warm their hands. And to adorn
    their uniforms, God gave them badges in quantities that only a dime store
    owner could appreciate. And He gave them emblems and crests... and all
    sorts of shiny things that glittered...and devices that dangled. (When you
    are God you tend to get carried away.)

    On the 6th day, He thought about creating some air creatures for which he
    designed a Greyhound bus driver's uniform, especially for Air Force flyboys.
    But He discarded the idea during the first week, and it was not until years
    later that some apostles resurrected this theme and established what we now
    know as the "Wild-Blue-Yonder Wonders."

    And on the 7th day, as you know, God rested.

    But on the 8th day, at 0730, God looked down upon the earth and was not
    happy. No, God was not happy! So He thought about His labors, and in His
    divine wisdom God created a divine creature. And this He called Marine.
    And these Marines, who God had created in His own image, were to be of the
    air, and of the land, and of the sea. And these He gave many wonderful
    uniforms. Some were green; some were blue with red trim. And in the early
    days, some were even a beautiful tan. He gave them practical fighting
    uniforms, so that they could wage war against the forces of Satan and evil.
    He gave them service uniforms for their daily work and training. And He
    gave them evening and dress and stylish, handsome that they might promenade with their ladies on Saturday night
    and impress the hell out of everybody! He even gave them swords, so that
    people who were not impressed could be dealt with accordingly. And at the
    end of the 8th day, God looked down upon the earth and saw that it was good.
    But was God happy? No! God was still not happy! Because in the course of
    His labors, He had forgotten one thing: He did not have a Marine uniform for
    himself. He thought about it, and thought about it, and finally God
    satisfied Himself in knowing that, well...not everybody can be a Marine!
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2007