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The blonde golfer
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<blockquote data-quote="mountainman56" data-source="post: 1077521" data-attributes="member: 79106"><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them.[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot] She explained that the member who brought her to the[/FONT]</em>[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away and asked the trio whether she could join them.[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot]Naturally, the guys all agreed.[/FONT]</em></span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot] Smiling,[/FONT]</em>[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] <em>[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</em> [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]the blonde thanked them and said, "Look, fellows, I work in a[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you want to smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, tell off-colour stories or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But, I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it,[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]so don't try to coach me on how to play my shots."[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot]With that the guys agreed to relax and invited her to[/FONT]</em>[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] <em>[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</em> [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]drive first.[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot]All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she[/FONT]</em>[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] bent to place her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green.[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot]The father's mouth was agape. "That was beautiful," he[/FONT]</em>[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] said.[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot]The blonde put her driver away and said, "I really didn't get into it, and I faded it a little."[/FONT]</em></span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot]After the three guys hit their drives and their second[/FONT]</em>[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]shots, the blonde took out an eight iron and lofted the ball within five feet of the hole. (She was closest to the pin.)[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot]The son said, "****, lady, you played that perfectly."[/FONT]</em></span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot]The blonde frowned and said, "It was a little weak,[/FONT]</em>[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] <em>[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</em> [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]but even an easy seven would have been too much club. I've left a tricky little putt." She then tapped in the five-footer for a birdie.[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot]Having the honors, she drove first on the second hole,[/FONT]</em>[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] knocked the heck out of the ball, and it landed nearly 300 yards away smack in the middle of the fairway.[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot]For the rest of the round the statuesque blonde[/FONT]</em>[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]continued to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole.[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot]When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under par, and had a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par.[/FONT]</em></span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot]She turned to the three guys and said, "I really want[/FONT]</em>[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] <em>[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</em> [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]to thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd really like to break 70 on this course.[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot]If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this hole I'll take him back to my apartment, pour some 35-year-old Single Malt Strath Mill Scotch in him, fix him a steak dinner and then show him a very good time the rest of the night."[/FONT]</em></span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot]The yuppie son jumped at the thought! He strolled[/FONT]</em>[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] <em>[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</em> [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]across the green, carefully eyeing the line of the putt and finally said, "Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup."[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot]The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his[/FONT]</em>[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] putter as a plumb. "Don't listen to the kid, darling', you want to hit it softly 10 inches to the right and let it run left down that little hogback, so it falls into the cup."[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot]The old gray-haired grandfather walked over to the[/FONT]</em>[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] blonde's ball, picked it up and handed it to her and said, "That's a gimme, sweetheart."[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot]</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #2e073e"> <em>[FONT=&quot]The blonde smiled and said, "Your car or mine?"[/FONT]</em>[/FONT]</span></em><span style="color: #2e073e">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: black">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: black">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: black">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: black">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: black">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: black">[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]</span><span style="color: black">[FONT=&quot]</span></p><p><span style="color: black"> </span></p><p><span style="color: black"> </span></p><p><span style="color: black"> [/FONT]</span><strong><span style="color: maroon">[FONT=&quot]REMEMBER . . . OLD AGE AND TREACHERY WILL OVERCOME YOUTH AND SKILL EVERY TIME[/FONT]</span></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mountainman56, post: 1077521, member: 79106"] [I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="]A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them.[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="] She explained that the member who brought her to the[/FONT][/I][/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="]club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away and asked the trio whether she could join them.[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="]Naturally, the guys all agreed.[/FONT][/I] [I][FONT="] Smiling,[/FONT][/I][/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="] [/FONT][/I] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="]the blonde thanked them and said, "Look, fellows, I work in a[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="]topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you want to smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, tell off-colour stories or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But, I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it,[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="]so don't try to coach me on how to play my shots."[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="]With that the guys agreed to relax and invited her to[/FONT][/I][/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="] [/FONT][/I] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="]drive first.[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="]All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she[/FONT][/I][/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] bent to place her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green.[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="]The father's mouth was agape. "That was beautiful," he[/FONT][/I][/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] said.[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="]The blonde put her driver away and said, "I really didn't get into it, and I faded it a little."[/FONT][/I] [I][FONT="]After the three guys hit their drives and their second[/FONT][/I][/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="]shots, the blonde took out an eight iron and lofted the ball within five feet of the hole. (She was closest to the pin.)[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="]The son said, "****, lady, you played that perfectly."[/FONT][/I] [I][FONT="]The blonde frowned and said, "It was a little weak,[/FONT][/I][/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="] [/FONT][/I] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="]but even an easy seven would have been too much club. I've left a tricky little putt." She then tapped in the five-footer for a birdie.[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="]Having the honors, she drove first on the second hole,[/FONT][/I][/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] knocked the heck out of the ball, and it landed nearly 300 yards away smack in the middle of the fairway.[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="]For the rest of the round the statuesque blonde[/FONT][/I][/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="]continued to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole.[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="]When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under par, and had a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par.[/FONT][/I] [I][FONT="]She turned to the three guys and said, "I really want[/FONT][/I][/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="] [/FONT][/I] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="]to thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd really like to break 70 on this course.[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="]If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this hole I'll take him back to my apartment, pour some 35-year-old Single Malt Strath Mill Scotch in him, fix him a steak dinner and then show him a very good time the rest of the night."[/FONT][/I] [I][FONT="]The yuppie son jumped at the thought! He strolled[/FONT][/I][/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="] [/FONT][/I] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="]across the green, carefully eyeing the line of the putt and finally said, "Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup."[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="]The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his[/FONT][/I][/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] putter as a plumb. "Don't listen to the kid, darling', you want to hit it softly 10 inches to the right and let it run left down that little hogback, so it falls into the cup."[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="]The old gray-haired grandfather walked over to the[/FONT][/I][/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] blonde's ball, picked it up and handed it to her and said, "That's a gimme, sweetheart."[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [I][FONT="]The blonde smiled and said, "Your car or mine?"[/FONT][/I][/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#2e073e][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT="] [/FONT][/COLOR][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT="]REMEMBER . . . OLD AGE AND TREACHERY WILL OVERCOME YOUTH AND SKILL EVERY TIME[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [/QUOTE]
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