"Some of these are old, some older!"

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Southpaw, Jul 8, 2011.

  1. Southpaw

    Southpaw Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    250
    Joined:
    May 17, 2007
    - Never argue with an idiot, he'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

    - Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

    - The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on the list.

    - If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

    - We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

    - Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

    - The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

    - How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

    - Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the edge of a pool and throw fish.

    - I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

    - Women will never be equal to men till they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they're sexy.

    - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

    - You don't need a parachute to skydive, but you do need one to skydive again.

    - The voices in my head may be fake, but they have good ideas!

    - Hospitality is making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

    - I scream the same way whether I'm about to be eaten by a shark or seaweed touches my foot.

    - Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.

    - There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

    - You're never too old to learn something stupid.

    - "So many assholes, so few bullets"

    - Remember, you are unique. Just like everybody else
     
  2. WyoElk2Hunt

    WyoElk2Hunt Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,193
    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2009
    Good old boy wisdom!!!