Man Rules - found in a Gunbroker add

Discussion in 'Humor' started by briar rabbit, Jan 28, 2011.

  1. briar rabbit

    briar rabbit Well-Known Member

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    [FONT=&quot]THE MAN RULES: At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down, Finally , the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.), We always hear " the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side,,,These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!,,,1. Men are NOT mind readers,,, 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down,,, 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be,,, 1. Crying is blackmail,,,1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!!! Strong hints do not work!!! Obvious hints do not work!!! Just say it,,,1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question,,,1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for,,,1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days,,,1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us,,, 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one,,,1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself,,, 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials,,,1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we,,,1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is,,,1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that,,,1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying , but it is just not worth the hassle,,,1.. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear,,, 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really,,,1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hunting or Fishing,,,1. You have enough clothes,,,1. You have too many shoes,,, 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!,,,1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.,,,[/FONT]
     
  2. JUDD

    JUDD Well-Known Member

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    That right there is the most informative best post I have ever read on here...No debates here to any of it...In fact publish it and put on the cover "The Man Bible":D
     

  3. SOUTHPAWSHOOTER10

    SOUTHPAWSHOOTER10 Well-Known Member

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    Amen, brother
     
  4. bigngreen

    bigngreen Well-Known Member

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    I just read this to my wife :D She said CC didn't know were the hell he was going or were the hell he ended up :rolleyes: Women can't live with them can't live without them!!
     
  5. Oliveralan

    Oliveralan Well-Known Member

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    That's great. And all are legitamate points, while some you come to accept that women do it (I.e. The hints thing, or saying nothing is wrong) but most are real good :D
     
  6. smokinbarrels

    smokinbarrels Member

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    Feb 12, 2011
    How true, how true!!:D
     
  7. Scott300RUM

    Scott300RUM Well-Known Member

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    Jan 28, 2011
    That is awesome, I couldn't have said it better myself. I was laughing the whole time. Now to print out this handbook and have my girlfriend study it, wish me luck, haha.