How to Wash Dishes

[Buffalobob]

Washing the dishes is necessary in order to have dishes to cook with and to eat out of. This appears to be a mystery to some people who are used to their wife or their Momma doing everything for them. These people like to think of themselves as men but in reality they are simply dependants who have no ability to care for themselves. So for all of you men who can't take care of yourselves, here is how you wash dishes.

1. When you get back from the morning hunt, look and see if there is water in the dish washing bucket and if not then take the bucket to the stream and fill it up.

2. Survey the dirty pots and pans and select a two or three quart pan and pour a couple of cups of water in one and put a squirt or so of dishwashing liquid in there. Heat it over the stove until it is steaming but not to boiling.

3. While the water is heating take all the dishes and rinse and wipe them out so most of the food is gone.

4. Take the heated water and pour a little in some of the dirtier pots and dishes and add cold water to each so that it is still hot water but you can put your hand in it.

5. Take a paper towel, sponge, scrubbing pad and clean the pots and dishes that have the warm soapy water in them. Discard the water.

6. Take the less dirty dishes and put them in the pot with the hot water and add enough cold water to be able to tolerate the temperature and then clean them with a paper towel or cloth.

7. Discard the dirty soapy water.

8. Rinse all dishes with clean water and set to dry.

At this point the dishes will be ready for use in the evening when you get back from hunting and you will not have to wash dishes in the dark.

 

[royinidaho]

Yep, that's what he does.

 

[grit]

That's a whole bunch of great info I hope to never need. I had to do my own grocery shoppin' a while back. Awful, awful day! Figured that out though. Found a pretty clerk and gave her my list. Basket filled itself up by magic. Kind of like the dishes at home.

 

[philny1]

Cold Water

I prefer cold water for doing the camp dishes. Fast, saves ya the fire wood that would be used to heat the water and is easier on your hands.
After breakfast just leave your dishes along with any dirty pots and pans where cold water can get at em. When ya get back in after a hards days hunt they're clean and shiney.
Gotta go now, time to take "Cold Water" for his morning walk.

 

[Varmint Hunter]

I'd rather pony my way over to the nearest diner. They are more than happy to take care of these messy little details. I'm more than happy to leave the little gal a nice tip and go hunting again. :>)

 

[royinidaho]

I'd rather pony my way over to the nearest diner. They are more than happy to take care of these messy little details. I'm more than happy to leave the little gal a nice tip and go hunting again. :>)

It was 4 hours round trip to the nearest "decent" diner.

There was one better than an hour away but their pies looked awful.

 

[Buffalobob]

How to build a Fire

Fire has been around for many years and is a pretty well know commodity. In the national forest it is regulated by the Forest Service because there are people who do not know much about fires. You are required to have a shovel and bucket if you build a fire and you cannot leave it unattended. Building a fire is requires large initial inputs of hard work and then decreasing amounts of work.

Build a Fire Ring
1. Select the site for your fire.
2. Gather some large stones and build a fire ring.
3. Take a shovel or spade and dig up the grass all around the fire rings so the fire cannot get to an outside fuel source.

Get some firewood

This part requires hours of hard work and some knowledge of firewood. You will need different sizes of firewood from small twigs for kindling up through medium limbs to split logs and finally a few whole log sections.

1. Select a dead tree.
2. Get the chainsaw and mix the gas and oil together and pour it into the tank.
3. Crank up the chainsaw and cut down the tree so it falls clear.
4. Trim the tree limbs off and carry them to the location you will keep your firewood
5. Cut the tree into 18 inch sections and carry them to the campsite.
6. Find some smaller trees that will have a good supply of small limbs and kindling and cut them and take them to the campsite.
7. Get you a log for a chopping block and chop up the limbs and sort them into different sizes.
8. Grab a maul and split some of the logs up into halves or quarters depending on the diameter.
9. Get the axe and cut up the smaller trees and limbs into kindling.

At this time you are through with the really hard sweaty work and the rest is easier.

Lay the fire

Because of the rule of not leaving a fire unattended I only build one fire a day and that is in the evening. It is easier to lay the fire when you get back from the morning hunt than to try and do it at night when it is dark. It is also faster to have the fire already laid so when you come back to camp at night you only have to start it and can get right to cooking dinner. Some people have elaborate rituals and believe that wood must be stacked in some precise manner but I am not one of those people. Laying a fire takes about 15 minutes and is not hard work but it is till work.

1. Get some small kindling from the firewood pile and place it in the fire ring.
2. Get some slightly larger limbs and place these on top of the kindling
3. Get about three to five medium limbs and place on top of the pile
4. Spilt a quarter log a few times and put this on top.
5. Get three or four quarters of halves and place on top of that.


Start the Fire

In the evening when you get back from hunting it will be dark and cold. You need to put your gear away and make a few switches and changes of gear according to what you will need to do in the morning. Then you can start your fire. If you are not lazy then your fire will have been laid at noon and sitting there in the fire ring ready to be started. At this point in a day I am usually tired and have little patience with stupidity nor laziness. I want my fire and I want it right now. Now starting a fire is not very much work at all but if a person has terminal laziness they will not start a fire.

1. Get an empty tin can and pour it half full of Coleman fuel.
2. Pour the fuel onto the wood so it gets to the kindling. You do not want most of it on the larger material as you need to use the kindling for its intended purpose.
3. Step back and throw a lighted match onto the wood that is soaked with lantern fuel.

You have now started your fire with less than a minute of effort and can go get a beer and start cooking dinner if you have not been lazy and failed to wash the dishes.

Maintenance

Every few days you will need to check to see how your supply of firewood is holding out and gather more as needed. You may need to split more of the logs into halves and quarters. This is moderately hard work but you don't have to do very much of it very often.

 

[Ian M]

Sorry Bob, but you missed the best way to clean camping dishes. Called Man's Best Friend. Just place the cool frying pan on the ground for about five minutes, suck down a beverage, shoo the dog away and hang the pan back on the nail by the stove. Worked for a buddy and I for several years, until his dog up and died. Haven't been back at that cabin since. We also extinguished a fire one evening the crude way, had to get another barbecue grill but when you gotta go you gotta go. That was a long time ago, don't do trips like that anymore.

Hard to beat some sawdust soaked in coal-oil or similar combustible for starting fires, got to watch high-test gasoline tho, mean stuff if you over-dab it.

 

[HeskethPritchard]

Bob

Why do I get the impression someone that you go huntin with was a lazy SOB in the camp?

Used to love watchin them breeds get the squits from being lazy and not being able to hunt for a few days

 

[Buffalobob]

How to Shop for Groceries

Shopping for groceries requires some knowledge of what food you already have as well as some knowledge of how to prepare a meal a quick and easy meal. It also requires some ability to make a decision. It also requires that you know how to cook. If you don't know how to shop for groceries and cook you should not go camping but rather stay at home where your wife can take care of you. Depending on your hunting partner to be a social worker and to run a day care center for you is disgusting

Mashed Potatoes come in two basic configurations. Those made with milk and those made with water. There are also frozen varieties but I never use them. Now if you like the ones made with milk you should also buy some milk or soy substitute of powdered milk. They now come in packages that make a good serving for two. Of course you have not be so lazy that you can't even bother yourself to boil water and open the package

Rice comes in four types. There is premade in a pouch that you simply dump in a pan and warm up and will serve two people. There is 1 minute rice which takes about 10 minutes because you have to heat the water if you are not too lazy to boil water. There is regular rice which takes about 30 minutes and finally there is longgrain which takes 45 minutes. While the premade is good for some meals, the 1 minute rice is more versatile and can be used to make a nice soup such as beef vegetable and rice. You can get a couple of packages of the premade in different styles and then a small box of 1 minute rice for other applications. If you let the pretty clerk or your wife pick out your rice, then you just get whatever happens to show up.

Noodles come in different styles and shapes but to me they are mostly the same except for the oriental styles which have a different taste. I often use the Ramen noodles for very quick meals. Angel hair is fast and can be broken into different lengths to fit different needs. Once again there is the requirement to boil water which is more effort than a lazy person can make.

Vegetables are usually of the canned variety and are pretty simple to buy and use. Buy some mixed vegetables as they can be adapted to soups and stews. I seldom buy fresh or frozen as they are trouble to take care of and occupy cooler space. I have not found a good source of dehydrated vegetables at a decent price.

Mayonnaise, butter, jelly, mustard, and ketchup all come in plastic squeeze bottles which are very convenient and do not require you to dirty up a knife or spoon getting them out.

Breakfast is to me the simplest of meals and once again you just have to not be lazy and get up about 15 minutes early and boil some water and make instant oatmeal and instant coffee. If you like, you can during the day cook up a package of bacon and put it in a baggie and then in the cooler and you can have bacon in your oatmeal every morning.

Prepackaged seasoning mixes such as McCormick are expensive but they occupy less space than a full spice rack. I buy the dry barbeque flavoring and use it instead of the fluid being as it occupies less space and does and adequate job. You just sprinkle it in the pan while you are cooking and it will flavor the meat.

Meats are a difficult item because of the difficulty of taking care of it. I drive 2500 miles to hunt and spend several thousand dollars and I am not interested in some incompetent moron giving me food poisoning so I wind up in the hospital for several days dehydrated with an IV in my arm. Things like canned chicken work well. If you have access to frozen meat that is best because it will keep well in a cooler and if you check it every few days you will know when it has thawed and can use it before it goes bad. Hamburger or ground meat such as antelope is adaptable to many different recipes. Sausage and bacon keep well but there is a point where they go bad and you should be skillful enough to recognize that. Any kind of fish is susceptible to quick spoilage. Raw chicken, grouse or any fowl is notorious for salmonella and one needs to be careful and wash ones hands frequently when dealing with it. Wieners, half smokes, brats and Italian sausage are quick and easy to prepare and can be used many different ways, but they also will develop bacterial growth and your hunting trip will be ruined.

There are a number of different cooking oils but on the advice of Jimm, I have switched to peanut oil as the most forgiving of the oils for camping use. It does not burn and flame as readily as others. Once again though if you are simple minded and walk away from the stove you can have a grease fire which is very dangerous to deal with.


The chief thing about grocery shopping is that it is like elk hunting, if you don't know how to do it or if you are just plain lazy, you will not be successful.

 

[davewilson]

things must be a little slow down in DC, eh Bob?

 

[Buffalobob]

The world needs more rotenone.

 

[BrandonA]

Now if only you could tell me what numbers I need to pick for the lotto

 

[tippet]

beg to differ

<snip>...So for all of you men who can't take care of yourselves, here is how you wash dishes.
<snip>
7. Discard the dirty soapy water.

8. Rinse all dishes with clean water and set to dry.

Please do not dump dirty soapy water on the ground or into a stream or lake.
You don't need water to clean your pot anyway.
Just wipe it off with a paper towel.
Put the paper into your garbage bag and take it out with you when you leave.
If it's for more than a day or two, or if temps are in the dangerous warm range for bacteria growth,
then boil water in it after you wipe it out, but don't use soap.
If you're taking more than one pot to both cook in and eat out of, you're taking more than you need.
It should be cleaned and put away within minutes of being used; leaving it set all day while you're out hunting is just plain lazy.
If we're talking about a whole hunting camp, the designated cook should already be prepared and doesn't need a lesson about how not be a "momma's boy".