Gotta include some Blond humor

Discussion in 'Humor' started by philny1, Apr 6, 2007.

  1. philny1

    philny1 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    698
    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2006
    BLONDE LOGIC
    Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking......And one
    blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther way...Florida or
    the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see
    Florida...?????"

    CAR TROUBLE
    A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
    After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says,
    "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor" She asks,
    "How often do I have to do that?"

    SPEEDING TICKET
    A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he
    could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get
    your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today
    you expect me to show it to you!"

    RIVER WALK
    There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
    blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the
    other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
    shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

    KNITTING
    A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing
    at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was
    knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren,
    the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,
    "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

    BLONDE ON THE SUN
    A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said,
    "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the
    moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
    The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
    "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To
    which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at
    night!"

    IN A VACUUM
    A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled
    the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are
    in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for
    a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

    FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
    A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
    asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was
    named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of
    someone naming dogs like that?" "HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blonde.
    "They're watch dogs!"
     
  2. screech

    screech Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,193
    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2005
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