Are You A Democrate, Republican or Southerner?

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Captn C, Feb 26, 2008.

  1. Captn C

    Captn C Well-Known Member

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    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner? Here is a little test
    that will help you decide.
    Answer the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
    children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around
    the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah,
    raises the knife, and charges at you.

    You are carrying a Glock 40cal, and you are an expert shot.
    You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?

    THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN









    Democrat's Answer:

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    Could we run away?
    What does my wife think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
    his hand?
    What does the law say about this situation?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
    this send to society and to my children?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
    me?
    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while
    he was stabbing me?
    Should I call 9-1-1?
    Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a
    happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends first
    and try to come to a consensus.





    Republican's Answer:
    BANG!


    Southerner's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!gun)
    Click.....
    (Sounds of reloading)
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!gun)
    Click!
    Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester SilverTips or
    Hollow Points?"

    Son: "Can I shoot the next one?"

    Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!"
     
  2. Buffalobob

    Buffalobob Writers Guild

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    I would jerk out my map and a ball point pen and mark the directions to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.light bulb
     

  3. jimbo300

    jimbo300 Well-Known Member

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    Capt C,

    That test was very accutate. Here in MS there is no closed season or bag limits on terrorists. The way I see that scenario is I get a free knife in the end.:D
     
  4. davewilson

    davewilson Well-Known Member

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    I would jerk out my map and a ball point pen and mark the directions to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

    i'm sure George would also just shoot him. now ole Barrack will want to talk with him and find out why he's so upset.
     
  5. Buffalobob

    Buffalobob Writers Guild

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    If you will remember like the good Republican he is,George supported continueing the pistol ban in DC. It would be illegal for him to have a pistol and pull it out and shoot somebody.
     
  6. jimbo300

    jimbo300 Well-Known Member

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    BB,

    Hopefully George will have Dick with him and he will have his bird gun.:D
     
  7. Buffalobob

    Buffalobob Writers Guild

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    Jimbo, that is really funny.:D
     
  8. Sludge

    Sludge Well-Known Member

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    Very accurate test results :)
     
  9. infantrytrophy

    infantrytrophy Member

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    RE: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

    FYI, magazines for the most common Glock models have a capacity of 13 to 17 rounds (not 10 rounds, as indicated above), unless the magazine capacity is limited by local ordinances*. :D

    * 10 round limit in CA, HI, NY, Toledo, OH and MA.:(