AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

Discussion in 'Humor' started by philny1, Apr 6, 2007.

  1. philny1

    philny1 Well-Known Member

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    1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

    2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

    4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

    5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

    6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

    7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

    8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

    9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

    10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.



    Thoughts for the day:

    If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

    Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.



    SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES......THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING......; BUT,......THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.
     
  2. screech

    screech Well-Known Member

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  3. Packrat 6

    Packrat 6 Well-Known Member

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    Her's another pretty good one from 2007. Enjoy!
     
  4. Joel Russo

    Joel Russo Official LRH Sponsor

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    Yes, philny1 was full of good ones. You should have had the pleasure of knowing him.

    He was my hunting partner, but unfortunately, he passed away a few years ago.

    I'll see if I can dig up an old thread or two about him.
     
  5. Packrat 6

    Packrat 6 Well-Known Member

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    Joel,

    I finally took the time to review the links.

    Thanks for posting them.

    Packrat
     
  6. Joel Russo

    Joel Russo Official LRH Sponsor

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    He was quite a fellow...
     
  7. Packrat 6

    Packrat 6 Well-Known Member

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    Just from the jokes he posted in 2007, I know I would have liked him.

    Packrat