A trip to Wal-Mart
Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal
pet, Biscuit, the wonder dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked
if I had a dog.
What did she think I had , an elephant ? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse
I told her that no I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I
probably shouldn't Because I ended up in the hospital the last time, but that I had lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes comming out of most of
my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants
pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The
food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically every one in line was enthralled with my story.) Horrified , she
asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no,I stepped
off a curb to sniff an Irish setter's ass and a car hit us both.
I though the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
So watch what you ask retired people !!!
J E CUSTOM