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Rectum Stretcher

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Unread 05-11-2010, 05:42 PM
Silver Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 126
Rectum Stretcher


While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a
bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic
patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?'

To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'

'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'

I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.

The cop stammerred, 'A what?............

A rectum stretcher!

And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'

'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up
to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in.

I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I
slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet'

'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?' he asked

'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...'

Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs $45.00
Look on the Cop's Face....... PRICELESS
For everything else, there's MasterCard
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  •   #2  
    Unread 05-11-2010, 05:53 PM
    Platinum Member
    Join Date: Feb 2008
    Location: IOWA
    Posts: 2,120
    Re: Rectum Stretcher

    That is hilarious. Never saw it coming.
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    Unread 05-11-2010, 07:37 PM
    Platinum Member
    Join Date: Dec 2009
    Location: LaPine Or.
    Posts: 2,536
    Re: Rectum Stretcher

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO thats bad. Funny tho
    "Its not Rocket Surgery.....'

    "I have No idea why that cop made me ride in the back seat, when I Clearly called Shotgun!"
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    Unread 05-11-2010, 08:23 PM
    Gold Member
    Join Date: Sep 2009
    Location: SW MT or noVA
    Posts: 986
    Re: Rectum Stretcher

    Hahaha good one!!
    "Out of range" is a theoretical concept as far as I'm concerned. Send it!
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    Unread 05-12-2010, 06:12 AM
    Platinum Member
    Join Date: Dec 2008
    Location: Great Falls, MT
    Posts: 9,289
    Re: Rectum Stretcher

    GD NE! Thanks for sharing.


    I voted for my "FREEDOM", "GUNS", and "MONEY" - keep the change - UNK.

    "I am always proud of my country!"

    "Leadership Rule #2: Don't be an ***hole." - Maj Gen Burton Field.
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    Unread 05-12-2010, 05:23 PM
    Gold Member
    Join Date: Jun 2009
    Location: Afognak Island, Alaska
    Posts: 598
    Re: Rectum Stretcher

    That was a good one.

    I wonder what roaddog would say. (probably laugh).
    Long Range Sickle
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    Unread 05-18-2010, 01:34 AM
    Bronze Member
    Join Date: May 2010
    Location: Australia.. The worlds largest Island
    Posts: 46
    Re: Rectum Stretcher

    Love it heaps
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