Well it appears that one way to get ones post count up high is to test bullets. Being as I didnít have any Henson Aluminum tipped bullets I couldnít do another Henson Aluminum tipped bullet test. So instead, I did Not Another Henson Aluminum tipped Bullet Test. It has been determined that ingesting dissolved aluminum will cause Alzheimer like symptoms and I do not wish to forget anymore of the stuff that I once thought that I might know but probably didnít know but might have known if I could only remember what it is that I donít know
Inorder to do a good bullet test you need to be either a good hunter or a good liar. Over the last year it has become obvious that these two methods of bullet testing are used extensively on this forum. Unfortunately for me, I am neither a good hunter nor a Lying Vermin. In fact, it has only recently come to my attention that if you are a poor hunter and only can find little deer to kill, that you should post the picture up with a title of ďManagement BuckĒ or Cull BuckĒ. This way everyone will allow you to the self delusion that you are the greatest deer hunter to walk the earth and are doing great public service to the rest of the less skilled deer hunter by shooting the small, genetically inferior buck. Well, it is for certain that I have one of the greatest collection of ďManagement buck ď racks mounted in my den of any member of this forum and a great public servant just culling out all the poor deer.
So in order to do my bullet test I needed to have a photo of a deer. At first this was the only photo I had and I was going to post it up. But I got worried that my daughter might actually visit this forum and recognize her animal and rat me out for being a Lyin Vermin.
So once I determined that Plan A was not going to work well, I decided to go to Plan B and see if it was possible to actually kill a deer. Being lazy as all get out I really detest actually having to get up on the cold mornings and shuffle out into the woods. It is so much easier to hunt with a computer than a rifle and you can sleep late when you computer hunt. It had been several years since I had last killed any deer and even without ingesting any aluminum tips I could hardly remember what a deer looked like and the only place I knew to find them was in the azaleas in my back yard. Fortunately, one of my kids reminded me that I used to hunt out in the Paw Paw bends and there were probably some deer left out there that I had not killed. I am sure my neighbor who lives behind me appreciates my not shooting deer in the azaleas and having a bullet pass through and go into her kitchen while she is making her coffee in the morning. It also occurred to me that maybe I could just find a dead deer along the interstate and use it. That turned out to be a good idea except it had been hit by a blue car and had paint all over it. I tried to get the paint off with turpentine but it was really stuck to the hair so I had to take that deer back out to the interstate and throw it back into the median,
Now then, in order to test a bullet you need to actually have a rifle and actually have some bullets. If you donít, thatís ok, you can probably find a picture of a rifle and some bullets somewhere on the internet.
So I drove out to the Paw Paw bends on opening day to deer hunt. After letting three Boone and Crockett bucks go by so the less skillful hunter could kill them, I finally selected this cull buck to test my bullet on.
As you can see from the picture his left ear is smaller than his right ear and he is clearly retarded and off low genetic value to the gene pool and needed to be culled out. I expect Maryland DNR will give me a public service award for taking him out of the breeding pool.
So, on to bullet performance. The range was 250 yards, wait no I believe the range was 1250 yards, aw shoot, the range was at least 2 miles if it was an inch. The bullet was a special design that had been given to me when I was abducted by the space aliens from the fifth planet of Sirius the Dog Star and had to save their civilization from the Klingons.
Now then once you have killed a deer or photo shopped someone elseís deer, it is necessary to take some pictures or buy some from somebody who actually knows how to kill a deer and operate a camera. It is good to photograph the gun with the deer but if you hunt with a sunshade on you probably donít want to photograph a picture of it because a sunshade is a problem and if there is any problem you will have a problem and it is always good not to have a problem unless you already have a problem. So try not to kill a deer while you have the sunshade on because the deer will cause you a problem and then you will need not to have a problem. This is one of the chief reasons people donít kill deer is that they are worried about hunting with a sunshade on and try not to hunt with it on. It is hard to kill deer if you donít hunt them because the sunshade is a problem.
So it is good to take a picture of the ENTRANCE wound from outside the chest cavity, but it is better to take a picture of the entrance wound from inside the chest cavity.
I should mention at this time, that if you are a bench rest shooter, that the chest cavity is toward the front of the deer and the stuff in the middle of the deer is the guts. Gut shooting a deer is not too good of a bullet test and you probably donít want to post any pictures of a gut shot deer. Now if you are from the southwest and inclined to say ďHookem HornsĒ then you may prefer to shoot deer really far back in the white area below the tail.
If you are from an area with gravitational anomalies, you may have had the experience that gravity works the same uphill as it does downhill, but in Maryland if you shoot a deer on a hillside it will roll down hill most of the time. I have also found it easier in Maryland to drag deer downhill than it is to drag them uphill, but perhaps being as gravity works the same up hill as down hill where some people live, it may be that there it is just as easy to drag deer uphill. In Maryland, a deer that is rolling downhill may hit a tree pretty hard and have a large hematoma on it side from that. I guess the same could happen if the deer got to rolling uphill really fast and hit a tree.
Now after that, you either need to photshop some more pictures or get the camera one more time and take some pictures of the EXIT wound from the inside and from the outside.
It is good to have a helper to take the inside pictures
If you have run your mouth and made claims of bullet performance that are not in line with what actually happened or the picture you bought is not right, you can always doctor up the photo to help out the bullet performance and nobody will probably notice. I like to use MS Paint. To really make forum member believe that the bullet will work wonders you should enlarge the bullet hole to about four or five diameters, add some FLAMES and SMOKE and a few dead SPACE ALIENS.