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New Presidental cantidate

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Old 02-17-2008, 09:28 PM
Platinum Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 2,856
New Presidental cantidate

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any m ore money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United K ingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to beg in towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York!

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not ******* us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. I
ts president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousandtanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America . Thank you and good night.
Si Vis Pacem Parabellum
Molon Labe
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Old 02-17-2008, 09:58 PM
Silver Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Eastern Oregon
Posts: 371
James when are you running for president? That was awesome.
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Old 02-19-2008, 12:32 AM
Platinum Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,027
The talking heads would be stunned at how many votes that he (or she) would get, the yellow dog liberals would curl up in the fetal position, and the candidate would carry Texas by a wide margin.

I wish! Tom
Texas State Rifle Association Life Member
NRA Endowment Life Member

A big fast bullet will beat a little fast bullet every time
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Old 02-21-2008, 07:55 AM
Bronze Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 60
a bit rough

I hope this is aimed at the goverments of these countries (on list 2) and not the citizens - you are too general - I hate Arabic too!!!
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Old 02-21-2008, 10:40 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 2,856
Not intended toward the people but to the government or that would make me a racist and very seldom does the majority of the people back the governments ideas.

It is a bit rough but I think that is what would be needed. It sickens me to watch our soldiers repeatedly go to countries to try to settle some BS squable they are having when we have our own troubles here. it situations where two countries are fighting over some lot of sand because of the oil their , I think that if they ask for your help we should treat them like children fighting over a toy. First you tell them to knock it off or you will smack them both and take the toy away , then if it continues to go over spank their butts and take the toy. I know that sounds kinda Nazi like but hey ,they asked for our help now their not fighting and their is nothing for fight over and for the trouble of us going over their and settling the trouble we get the oil !!! We are the world super power and if the rest of the world wants us to bail them out of their problems then damn it its gonna cost you.

I'm generaly a very passive person and despite having black belts in two differant martial arts and training in several more I never look to voilence as a first reaction to solve a problem , but it sure is effective at solving your problem or getting your point accross if deplomacy doesen't work first. I see no reason to waist lives, time ,energy and money to continualy screw with a problem when you have to other choices , the first being to simply walk away and second to just eliminate to problem.

we have enough trouble right here in this country to worry with and our government officals can't see that because they arn't living pay check to pay check , worrying about what would happen if you car broke down , or if your child got sick or have to wait in the ER for 7 hrs bleeding in pain to get 34 stiches or to have their 2 yr old seen because he has been running a 103 fever for 4 hrs that won't break? because their are 25 illegal aliens in front of them waiting to be seen for stomach aches or head aches and since they are illegal they have no insurance or medicaid and the only way to be seen in the ER. THEN , the bastards refuse to admit that they are illegal so that the government can renburse the hospital for the charges they ran up so the hospital looses money so in turn jacks up the charges to the guy with the insurance and legitimate reason for being in the ER in the first place !!
Si Vis Pacem Parabellum
Molon Labe
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Old 02-22-2008, 02:16 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 60

This sounds all to familiar. South Africa is by no means a super power but we do sort of lead the way in Africa and we have the same BS that you speak of. 4 million illegal Zimbabweans alone because that fool mugabe has syphillis and does not have a clue how to run a country. Our politicians are no better - the ageing Mandela has no more clout and there is a rampant parliament of fools doing their best to defraud the country of a living. I am the dep head of a large school and can barely afford my monthly bills while these fools sit pretty!!! UK has gone to the dogs as well - look for the common denominator - it is not difficult to see. Mars is looking like a good option.
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Old 02-23-2008, 01:01 AM
Silver Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Jayess, MS
Posts: 293

Great job! If your running you have my vote buddy. You listed every item that is high on my political views list, with the exception of the complete abolishment of the IRS and lets go to a flat tax system. But even more important to the survival of this GREAT NATION would be the immediate extermination of the ACLU and the immediate execution of all its personnel.
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