Lie clocks in Heaven
At the pearly gates, a guy saw all these clocks everywhere. He asked St. Peter what the deal was. St. Peter replied that they are lie clocks and everybody has one. Each time you lie, the hands move. One belonging to Mother Theresa had never moved. Honest Abe's had moved only twice. The guy asked about Hillary Rodham's clock. St. Pete replied, oh, it's in the boss's office. He uses it for a ceiling fan.
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