Long Range Hunting Online Magazine


Go Back   Long Range Hunting Online Magazine > Chatting and General Stuff > Humor


Reply

Just in case you need a laugh:

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 08-07-2008, 07:50 AM
Gold Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dogpatch, NY
Posts: 698
Just in case you need a laugh:

Subject: Fw: Giggle for the day......











Just in case you need a laugh:

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.



After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.....

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded by the maintenance engineers (marked with an "S").


By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 08-08-2008, 10:58 PM
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,027
Phil, my youngest brother was an Airdale in the Navy. (Plane crew) I've got to show him this one.

Thanks, Tom
__________________
Texas State Rifle Association Life Member
NRA Endowment Life Member

A big fast bullet will beat a little fast bullet every time
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 08-09-2008, 06:33 PM
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 2,856
That funny and way to true !!

I get some realy stupid work orders somtimes that look alot like that , we are issued a small tablet computer for all our labor charging and you HAVE to make notes after you fix somthing , I was putting some replys that brought light to the dumb ass questios like above just to get under the enginer's skin.
I was given three days off work for it , apparently a NASA auditor saw one and decided to "track" me and my labor.

I think that some folks start to lose all their general knowledge and common sence brain cells after to long in school.
__________________
Si Vis Pacem Parabellum
Molon Labe
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 08-11-2008, 06:06 PM
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,027
Re: Just in case you need a laugh:

James, someone said "Beware of letting your schooling get in the way of your education".

Also "ignorance can be remedied, but stupidity is incurable"

The first one hasn't been a problem for me (no schooling), but I've worried about the second one ever since I realized that I've got a lot of history being both.

Tom

I still say the redface looks constipated.
__________________
Texas State Rifle Association Life Member
NRA Endowment Life Member

A big fast bullet will beat a little fast bullet every time
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads for: Just in case you need a laugh:
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Help.......and please don't LAUGH! mindcrime Rifles, Bullets, Barrels and Ballistics 5 09-09-2011 03:38 PM
Had to laugh 600BP Long Range Hunting & Shooting 7 12-04-2010 05:38 PM
Go for a Laugh---If you don't, I want to know. Eaglet General Discussion 1 03-23-2008 07:56 PM
Heres a laugh on me Jimm General Discussion 5 07-11-2005 07:49 PM
Please don't laugh, Etronx? Coyboy Reloading 6 02-20-2005 08:33 PM

Current Poll
How Many Different Cartridges Do You Reload For?
ZERO, all factory ammo - 8.02%
352 Votes
1 - 2.78%
122 Votes
2 or 3 - 14.55%
639 Votes
4 or 5 - 20.38%
895 Votes
6 or 7 - 14.83%
651 Votes
8 or 9 - 8.65%
380 Votes
10 or more - 30.79%
1,352 Vote
Total Votes: 4,391
You may not vote on this poll.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:04 PM.


Powered by vBulletin ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Management Powered by vBadvanced CMPS
All content ©2010-2014 Long Range Hunting, LLC