Long Range Hunting Online Magazine


Go Back   Long Range Hunting Online Magazine > Chatting and General Stuff > Humor


Reply

Interesting resume style

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 09-18-2012, 09:46 PM
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: NY State
Posts: 346
Interesting resume style

Resume

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I were in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $1,850,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.
__________________
The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other. -- Ronald Reagan

"The 'tolerant' left has come full circle... and has now become what they so despised."

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. -- Aesop
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads for: Interesting resume style
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
classic style vs a3 style stock cummins cowboy Long Range Hunting & Shooting 1 02-13-2011 07:26 AM
Any Resume Writing Experts Here ??? GNERGY General Discussion 4 01-15-2010 09:59 PM
F/S:HS Precision Rem. 700BDL style sporter style stock rd1951 Gun Parts - Stocks, Barrels, Actions, etc. 0 08-19-2008 01:15 PM
Something interesting to me sewwhat89 Reloading 6 02-07-2007 09:58 PM
Interesting to me sewwhat89 Rifles, Bullets, Barrels and Ballistics 6 09-19-2005 12:09 AM

Current Poll
I currently have hunting preference points in the following states

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:39 PM.


Powered by vBulletin ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Management Powered by vBadvanced CMPS
All content ©2010-2014 Long Range Hunting, LLC