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Grandpas Revenge

 
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  #1  
Old 05-21-2010, 02:04 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 126
Grandpas Revenge

I.R.S. Audits Grandpa

The I.R.S. decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the I.R.S. office.

The I.R.S. auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling.

I'm not sure the I.R.S. finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet..'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my
other eye.' Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with

Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.


'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand
dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket
on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could
possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't
make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates
all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just
turned a major loss into a huge win.


But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks. 'Not really,' says the attorney.

'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars

that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

I keep telling you!

Don't Mess with Old People!!
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  #2  
Old 05-21-2010, 03:27 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Aberdeen, SD
Posts: 516
Re: Grandpas Revenge

Now that's funny
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  #3  
Old 05-21-2010, 04:33 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: british columbia, canada
Posts: 109
Re: Grandpas Revenge

that is amazing. that one is going to get shared a lot, thank you
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  #4  
Old 05-21-2010, 11:02 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Redmond Or.
Posts: 2,527
Re: Grandpas Revenge

Thats one was good!
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  #5  
Old 05-25-2010, 12:48 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,654
Re: Grandpas Revenge

Quote:
Originally Posted by sullijr View Post
I.R.S. Audits Grandpa

The I.R.S. decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the I.R.S. office.

The I.R.S. auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling.

I'm not sure the I.R.S. finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet..'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my
other eye.' Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with

Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.


'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand
dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket
on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could
possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't
make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates
all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just
turned a major loss into a huge win.


But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks. 'Not really,' says the attorney.

'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars

that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

I keep telling you!

Don't Mess with Old People!!

HA HA HAAA Boy thats a good one !!! HE HEE
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