  | Grandpas Revenge |

05-21-2010, 02:04 PM
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Silver Member
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 126
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Grandpas Revenge
I.R.S. Audits Grandpa
The I.R.S. decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the I.R.S. office.
The I.R.S. auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling.
I'm not sure the I.R.S. finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet..'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my
other eye.' Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with
Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand
dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket
on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could
possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't
make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates
all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just
turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks. 'Not really,' says the attorney.
'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars
that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'
I keep telling you!
Don't Mess with Old People!!
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05-21-2010, 03:27 PM
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Gold Member
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Aberdeen, SD
Posts: 501
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Re: Grandpas Revenge
Now that's funny
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RMNS 8:28
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05-21-2010, 04:33 PM
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Silver Member
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: british columbia, canada
Posts: 109
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Re: Grandpas Revenge
that is amazing. that one is going to get shared a lot, thank you
__________________
there is always something to learn
Russ M
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05-21-2010, 11:02 PM
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Platinum Member
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Redmond Or.
Posts: 2,383
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Re: Grandpas Revenge
Thats one was good!
__________________
 "Its not Rocket Surgery.....'
GOD,GUNS,&GUTTS MADE AMERICA, LETS KEEP ALL 3!winmag
"I have No idea why that cop made me ride in the back seat, when I Clearly called Shotgun!"
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05-25-2010, 12:48 PM
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Platinum Member
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,655
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Re: Grandpas Revenge
Quote:
Originally Posted by sullijr
I.R.S. Audits Grandpa
The I.R.S. decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the I.R.S. office.
The I.R.S. auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling.
I'm not sure the I.R.S. finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet..'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my
other eye.' Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with
Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand
dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket
on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could
possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't
make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates
all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just
turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks. 'Not really,' says the attorney.
'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars
that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'
I keep telling you!
Don't Mess with Old People!!
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HA HA HAAA Boy thats a good one !!! HE HEE
__________________
"Molon Labe"
IN DIXIE WE DON"T CALL 911 !
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