Re: What cal?
In reference to barrel life everything I've ever read says that depends on blah blah blah. Truth is if you shoot competitions "rapid shots through a warm to hot barrel" your barrel will suffer a degradation in accuracy eventually. To that end the accuracy most competition shooter are looking at .2 mil accuracy is the difference between winning and loosing. I've shot the same barrel in my 243 since I was 12-13, only a handful of time have I fired the gun more than a few time in a short span, the gun shoots better now than when I first got it. Point being unless you are shooting at PD all day shot after shot you'll never "shoot out" a barrel. Before everyone starts going crazy about my comments here, I have yet to "shoot out" a barrel in anything I own, from .22lr to 7rem mag. My round counts vary from yr to yr and calibers but probably in the neighborhood of 800rd per yr per gun, damn I really should reload looking at this now...
As far as not blowing the hides up bad that is going to be bullet selection. If there's a super bullet out there that'll drop them where they stand with minimal pelt damage every time I have yet to see it. I've had great luch with 75gr hp in my 243 not blowing up too bad in most cases. If you hit the spine or shoulder every now and then one will blow out badly but for the most part they've been fine. I've not tested the 58gr vmax enough to get the results I'm happy to comment on. I've seen big holes from 22-250 too just depends on the animal, and the shot placement.
As far as deer 243win is hard to beat, they hold a special place for me and always will. There's a thread with dozens of comments on a 243 on this site, check them out too. Either caliber is great for your intended uses, just remember shot placement is the key. You can't go wrong with either of them.
Good luck and happy hunting