How do you know you aren't too hot?....
Federal primers IME tend to be alittle larger than others, If you are having expanded primer pockets after only 2-3 firings so much so that Fed primers are loose, you need to lighten your load IMO.
I may be off, but it sounds like you are letting your velocity determine how much pressure you "think" you have? Don't just let the velocity dictate your opinion of the pressure, some rifle bbls are slower than others and will not produce the same velocity as others for a given pressure.
You may have better luck with a different powder. I've been able to duplicate Weatherby factory rounds in 270 Wea with both R22 and IMR7828 with good case life and tight pockets in Norma brass.