While explaining to my wife some of the tactics of hunting (my wife doesn’t hunt, but is really good about letting me do my thing), I made the analogy that hunting was much like dating. After a peculiar look, I started to explain:
The first thing you do when hunting is select a location to scout for signs of an animal that has the traits you are looking for, depending on your tastes. If I was going to hunt elk I would look for the nastiest terrain possible, with long range shooting opportunities. If I was looking for a date, I would look for a spot that was likely to hold a high number physically fit adventurous females. Ladies day at the rock climbing wall might be a good location.
The second thing I would do is scout from a distance, when elk hunting this is best accomplished with good optics (no she didn’t want to know how much they cost). If I locate a bull I believe to have the traits I am looking for I make some notes about location and how it lives its life. Back at the REI rock climbing wall I would hang out and watch the climbing from within the store and maybe collect some information on classes and equipment. If I noticed one or two that had traits that interested me I again start looking for clues about how they live the rest of their life away from this location.
Back at the elk hunting location I have scouted the area looking for tracks, wallows, food sources, watering locations and large numbers of cow elk ( let’s face a bull ELK thinks only about 2 things – food & cows). I spot a couple of bulls and note that one has very odd shaped left side antler, I am kind of a symmetry sort of guy and will probably look for a different bull.
At the rock wall I show up early and notice one of my interests’ shows up eating a veggie burrito, decaf green tea, and a fat free yogurt for dessert, whoa … full stop this is a serious issue. Quite possible on to interest number two.
Now with opening day of hunting season just a few days away I am prepping all of my gear and finalizing my plan of attack. I will covertly slip into my ambush location, get setup, and wait for the perfect shot opportunity.
My first day of participating in free climbing is just around the corner. I have gathered all the intel I can about food sources, clothing choices, profession & possible lifestyle. I will go to the climbing secession and patiently await the perfect dating opportunity. (At this point she tells me it sounds a bit like stalking and I tell her,” I told you it was like hunting”)
Opening day arrives; I slide out to my scouted location, get setup for my shot and observe a small group of satellite bulls and choose to let them walk as they are not the bull I was after. A short while later the bull I have scouted and selected shows himself. He is at long distance and moving a risky shot. He stops but is covered by some brush over the vitals, again no shot. He starts to move and I give a short bugle to get him to stop and notice me. I have now setup the perfect shot and take it.
Now then at the climbing wall, there is a group of women including the one I am interested in. I start putting my gear on near them when one of the friend of my interest asks, “do you have any chalk?” I give her my chalk bag despite the fact that several of her friends have chalk bags close at hand. I pass on this opportunity for conversation as this is not the one I am interested in. Later in the climb the one I am interested in is prepping to climb and the belay master asks for someone to switch with him for a short break. After the climb is finished we talk about some of her moves and techniques on the wall. This leads to more conversation and I take my shot asking her out on a date.
I tell my wife, “Now you just can’t get more similar than that” She looks me right in the eye and says, “I will agree that they are similar, but let’s be sure that we are clear the goal in both cases is exactly the same” I have that look that the dog gives you when you say something to him he doesn’t understand. “What is that?” I foolishly ask. Your goal is simply to take it home and get it mounted!
My wife made a comment somthing like that , trying to humble me in front of her friends and their husbands (Puss frat boys) saying all I was worried about was mounting a big rack either in the woods or in the gym and that our walls dont have have to many deer on them !!
I simply said if I had to put the racks I've mounted at the gym on the wall we'de need a bigger house !!! that diden't go over to well but I thought it was prety sharp:p
Those women arn't nearly as dumb as they seem somthimes