I sent this joke e-mail to a liberal coworker and actually had to explain it to him. Twice!
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck? Here is a little test that will help you decide:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Smith & Wesson 45, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
A Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the 'Smith' have appropriate safeties built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 911, and let the police protect me? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
A Republican's Answer:
A Redneck's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click. Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those Winchester Silver Tips or Remington Hollow Points?"
My friend was very upset with the actions of the republican and horrified that the rednecks daughter had witnessed the senseless murder of a poor misunderstood freedom fighter.
In the event that this actually happened he would contact his congress woman and want hearings to determine if Bush knew in advance of the attack and why FEMA had not acted faster to evacuate the poor from the area of the devastation reeked by the redneck Christian fundamentalistís actions. Also he needed to be sure their would be grief counselors for the family of the deceased and for any onlookers in the area that could have been affected by the misuse of the second amendment.