One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead men got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,
A paralysed donkey walking by,
Kicked a blind man in the eye,
Knocked him through a two inch wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.
This is a wordless book and is the funniest book I have ever read. You make up the words and do all the sound effects and do the flopping over in the floor and smacking stuff. A well cared for hard cover version is worth $50.00. My copy had some applesauce spilled in it and got rolled on a couple of times so it is a little (or a lot) beat up.
If you make your living telling big lies, excuse me, I mean serious literary stories, then this is the book for you.
[ QUOTE ]
One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead men got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,
A paralysed donkey walking by,
Kicked a blind man in the eye,
Knocked him through a two inch wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.
Ian.
[/ QUOTE ]
Another version:
One bright morning in the middle of the night,
Two dead men got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And came and arrested the two little boys
And if you don't think this storys true
Go ask the blind man he saw it too.
Thats a good one I haven't seen, glad you posted it.
My favorite:
If
Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run --
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!
I memorized it in ninth grade for bonus points, and in my opinion are worse things to have bouncing around your head.
Just back from the "big" concert. Average standing height of attendees, about to your belt buckle - probably about three years old. Very loud, but no sign of pot-smoking, lighter-flicking, people jumping from the stage onto the crowd. Dora was hot, she can really sing and dance. Boots was very lifelike, considering an actor had to play a cartoon monkey. Lot's of characters, including the pirate pigs who stole the damn treasure chest, took it to Treasure Island. Fortunately Dora had a map... in her BACKPACK. The audience yelled out BACKPACK loudly enough to loosen some of the girders in the roof. Big problem thoughout - SWIPER kept doing his thing but there is a magic sentence that stops him cold. Roof about lifted each time the audience had to stop old Swiper from swiping Dora's stuff. Makes a person plumb hate those damn foxes...
Have steel targets to shoot. Rifles to zero. Scopes to photograph. Shotgun slug test to shoot. Sun was shining, not much wind. Perfect day for shooting.
Rather be holding that little two and a half year old while she participated in the concert. Wasn't a concert to her, it was the REAL thing [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
Off topic Dave, but I thought you might enjoy hearing about my afternoon.
Ditto on Frost, my favourite favourite - particulalry "The Road Not Taken"
Another favourite:
William Henry Davies 1871-1940
Leisure
What is this life if, full of care
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
And whilst I find the idea of Coleridge having related the vision of an opium induced dream a bit off putting, his Kubla Kahn (or a Vision in a Dream) has always been a favourite too. Although some of the somewhat colourful interpretations can spoil it a bit.
Rudyard Kipling's "If" would struggle to make the list, though superb. At High School we were made to write it out hundreds of times as punishment (instead of lines).
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