I am retired but just resently, married for 28 years ,3 kids , oldest is a full time ems worker,#2 is soph. in college,#3 jr. in high school. My wifes works as a teachers aide in elem. school. I have always hunted and fished ,never been one for the bar/party crowd. Consider myself lucky to have found a women that puts up with my affliction to the outdoors. We each kindof do our own thing but I try to make sure I at least ask how work was ,go grocery shopping with her sometimes and if she wants something in particular do whatever it takes to make it happen.
As far as time to do stuff I get up early and have the mornings to myself espec. on weekends,mamma likes to sleep in when theirs no work. In the afternoon any family stuff is taken careof then.
I think the key is we don't need to be running hither and yon 24/7 ,have some friends that are like that and its like you need to make an appointment 3 months in advance to get together for a couple hours, thats too busy..
As the experts say its a give and take thing.. you say your kids are young ,so get them started too, that way your wife can have some time to herself.
Last edited by flyin lizard; 12-12-2009 at 05:51 PM.
For a number of years after we got married we had no kids and we would always go places together like Alaska for 6 week or Nova Scotia. We would canoe and hike and go square dancing. If the choice was between doing something with her or going hunting, I would normally go with her except during elk and deer season. One year I hunted at least 1 day a week for 28 straight weeks!!! Then we left Utah and moved East.
Then there were kids. Kids, like marriage, are a moral obligation and commitment. On Saturdays, I went to soccer, basketball, and baseball games and chauffeured to flute and guitar lesson. All PTA/school meetings were attended. If I wanted to go hunting (and there is no hunting on Sunday in redneck moron land of Maryland) I took a day off from work if I could find a day to take off. During the lean years I might not have gone hunting more than three or four days total. However, I can look in the mirror and say I honored my obligations to my family. I also took care of my career and climbed as high up as my ethics would allow.
My kids are mostly grown and I have a very nice retirement income and supplement it with consulting projects. I start the hunting season on September 1 by going dove hunting and then about a week later I head to Wyoming and hunt antelope and then about October 1 I drive on over to Idaho or Utah and hunt deer and elk until it gets to cold and snowy. Then about November first I turn the truck east and come back home to see my wife who’s standard welcoming line is how soundly she slept with no one snoring in the bed with her. Then after a few days of being hiomeI get after the Canadian geese and the squirrels until deer season opens up. Then it is pretty nonstop chasing deer and small game until about the first of March.
So basically what I did was hunt very little until I retired and now I hunt full time. I do not regret any of the time I spent on and with my family during those years.
I have a very understanding wife. But as BB said, I dont miss the house, kids obligations. Any other free time gets dedicated to my passion(hunting, shooting, reloading, fishing, horseback riding). Eventually a little discussion, but nothing to big.
I join the LRH.com site every night, after we are done with house chores, and she knows I enjoy it a lot.
This past years have had minimal time to hunt, because hospital work and studying, but I am almost done with residency and looking forward to start hunting and shooting a lot.
I've been pretty fortunate in my adult life to have the time for this and other hobbies. First and foremost is a very understanding wife. They're have been years that I didn't plan on trying for out of state draws and she would be the one to talk me into going, reminding me how miserable I would be in the fall if I didn't. We are raising three kids together, one in college and two in high school. All of them are very active in sports. My wife and I hardly ever miss a game, only on a rare occassion. My main priority has been family all along. Another thing that has helped is my career. I am a Fire Captain at a department about 20 minutes away from my house. We work two 24 hour shifts and then off for four days. It works out to ten days per month leaving twenty play days. I couldn't ask for more.
+1 on what each has shared so far. For my family it's about priorities-wife, children, career and everything else in that order. When your just starting out most of your time is spent on the first 3 with little left over for everything else. As the married years roll on...now 38 years and the kids are grown up: my son 34 is a State Trooper for the Florida Highway Patrol and my daughter 32 a Dental Hygenist. With 25 years climbing the management ladder in big blue the inventor of this thing I now sit in front of and that retirement under my belt...the landscape changes...and there is more time to do this sort of thing without any regrets or guilt. I too could go on about PTA, soccer, honey to do's, business trips and the rest of the endless list and did it with all the zest and selflessness that one should when one gets married and brings children into this world. Build the memories my friend with your family and always remember a relationship with anyone particularly with your wife and kids is like an Emotional Bank Account...If you expect to make withdrawels then you have to make deposits. Kind of what a previous poster siad when he talked about hunting/shooting but knows when to go to the grocery store with his wife etc-smart man. If you do your part well your family will know that and be more supportive of you later in this area as the years roll on. IMHO, the fact that you've even brought this up and are asking for feedback tells me your wife and children are very lucky to have you and that you'll strike that balance. Great insight and concern on your part.
I've read each of the previous posts here and a common theme IMHO is family first then my hobby. To often in this world that's not always the case. I wanted to say to all the husbands and Dad's thanks for a job well done...the world is a better place because of you.
Those were all great responses. We obviously have some great fathers and husbands on this board, and I appreciate you sharing some of your wisdom with us. From time to time we all need to be reminded of what is truly important.