Originally Posted by Rocky Mountain
The 140gr will kick slightly less than the 168gr in your 280 but the small difference I'm picking wont be enough for your wife to be happy I think your better looking at a muzzle brakes or supressors to tame the rifle down.
Take Rocky Mountain's advice - if there is less recoil you will never notice it. It'd be a lot easier in the long run to just put a brake on it and be done with it. Either that or just start reducing powder until you get down to .243 recoil.
I've shot 139's, 140's, 154's and 168's out of a 280AI and you're a better man than I am if you can tell much difference.